July 29, 2010 | Author: Jennie Chancey

Hang on to your hats (and prepare to sit down with a cup of tea for a long read). This is the best piece I have ever read on marriage in our post-modern times. It is a tour de force and should be required reading for anyone concerned about the state of relationships between men and women today. For young readers, parents should read this through first and appropriately shepherd older teens through it with lots of discussion. From Part I:

Until what seems like only yesterday, young people were groomed for marriage, and the paths leading to it were culturally well set out, at least in rough outline. In polite society, at the beginning of this century, our grandfathers came a-calling and a-wooing at the homes of our grandmothers, under conditions set by the woman, operating from strength on her own turf….

In other respects as well, the young remained culturally attached to the claims of “real life.” Though times were good, fresh memory kept alive the poverty of the recent Great Depression and the deaths and dislocations of the war; necessity and the urgencies of life were not out of sight, even for fortunate youth. Opportunity was knocking, the world and adulthood were beckoning, and most of us stepped forward into married life, readily, eagerly, and, truth to tell, without much pondering. We were simply doing — some sooner, some later — what our parents had done, indeed, what all our forebears had done.

Not so today. Now the vast majority goes to college, but very few — women or men — go with the hope, or even the wish, of finding a marriage partner. Many do not expect to find there even a path to a career; they often require several years of post-graduate “time off” to figure out what they are going to do with themselves…. Never mind wooing, today’s collegians do not even make dates or other forward-looking commitments to see one another; in this, as in so many other ways, they reveal their blindness to the meaning of the passing of time. Those very few who couple off seriously and get married upon graduation as we, their parents, once did are looked upon as freaks.

You can read the entire series over on Boundless. Do set aside the time to do it. This is such an important issue, and Leon Kass has thoroughly covered his ground (note the excellent footnotes).

Category: Feminism & Related Issues, For the Unmarried | 1 Comment »
Tags: family, feminism, marriage

July 29, 2010 | Author: Jennie Chancey

From Candice Watters over at Boundless:

My Mom used to encourage me with Matthew 6:33 when I’d call (at least once a week) to complain about still being single. She always took me back to that verse: “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” She even encouraged me to give thanks for the difficult circumstances.

“Give thanks for not having anyone ask me out?” I’d say, with not just a little anger and emotion. “Yes,” she’d say gently, but firmly. “Thank God for this opportunity to praise Him, to grow in your faith, to grow in your dependence on Him. Give thanks for the things you most want Him to change.”

Read the rest at this link.

Category: Biblical Womanhood, For the Unmarried | No Comments »
Tags: marriage, womanhood

July 28, 2010 | Author: Anna Sofia & Elizabeth Botkin

Our last article, “Why Am I Not Married?!?” has brought in our most diverse range of feedback yet. We’ve received some of the most grateful, convicted, excited letters ever (with the strongest support and thanks coming from young men, interestingly, though we didn’t write it for them). We’ve also had a couple of angry or tearful reactions. Mostly, though, we’ve been sent a wide range of questions, from how to become more eligible, practically, to how to deal with unrequited love, to how to react, emotionally, to the engagements and marriages of friends, while we remain unmarried. We hope to address each of these on Visionary Daughters soon. Today, however, we would like to answer this one.

Are you saying that if I’m not married yet, it’s my fault?

(more…)

Category: For the Unmarried | 4 Comments »
Tags:

July 27, 2010 | Author: Jasmine Baucham

“A woman must have a thorough knowledge of music, singing, drawing, dancing, and the modern languages, to deserve the word; and besides all this, she must possess a certain something in her air and manner of walking, the tone of her voice, her address and expressions, or the word will be but half deserved.” ~Caroline Bingley (more…)

Category: Biblical Womanhood, For the Unmarried | 3 Comments »
Tags: womanly arts

July 21, 2010 | Author: Luci McLeod

From Mercatornet comes a useful short piece discussing a new study by Debbie S. Barrington, “The Increasing Protection of Marriage on Infant Low Birth Weight Across Two Generations of African American Women,” 31 Journal of Family Issues 1041 (2010).  The study abstract states:

An increasing protection of marriage on infant LBW across the two generations was found after adjusting for socioeconomic and demographic confounding factors via (a) logistic regression using generalized estimating equations, (b) propensity score analyses taking into account the differential distribution of confounders across the generations, and (c) sensitivity analyses that adjusted for childhood health of the mother prior to marriage. Intergenerational findings also suggest that marriage across generations was most protective against infant LBW; the lowest risk for LBW was found among women who were both married when they gave birth to their infants and had mothers who were married at the time they themselves were born.

Put simply, babies born to married parents tend to be healthier than those born to unmarried parents.  While correlation doesn’t necessarily imply causation, numerous studies suggest that parents’ marital status has a definite, tangible impact on the health of mothers and babies alike.

(more…)

Category: Mothering, Uncategorized | No Comments »
Tags: children, marriage, motherhood

July 20, 2010 | Author: Kelly Crawford

“…unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me.” (John 12:23-26)

These impossible words from our Lord…impossible, that is, for one who does not possess the spirit of the living God.

And still so hard for the one who does.

This verse made me think of motherhood and children. “Unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies…”

There is a dying to produce life. God knew that. And that death that seems painful to us at times, He knew would bring about “many seeds”.

I thought about “many seeds”. And “olive shoots around your table”. And fruitfulness. When we “die” to our fear, our control, our plans, our pride–when we die to ourselves, we become able to increase with so much more capacity. Both in sheer number, and in our ability to become a true disciple of Christ. (“Nevertheless it is not I, but He that lives in me.”)

No, our culture doesn’t esteem motherhood, because it’s not very fond of dying. It doesn’t esteem the things of God for that same reason.

(more…)

Category: Mothering | 3 Comments »
Tags:

July 19, 2010 | Author: Luci McLeod

On Babble.com, one author offered a surprisingly honest, heartfelt examination of the choices she made to delay motherhood.  She points out the numerous personal and social consequences of delaying marriage and childbearing.  Certainly, God’s timing is perfect in all things.  However, it’s sobering to consider just how much we’ve sacrificed to conform to our modern culture’s “standards” of when it’s “appropriate” to wed and have children.

I’ve always argued that it’s better to have more choices, but when I hear these sadder stories, or suffer dark moments myself, I do wonder whether in fact my generation collectively screwed up. Did we in fact buy a false message from our feminist mothers, and focus too much control on ourselves and our bodies in terms of birth control and sexual freedom in our 20s and actually wait too long to have children? I’m not alone in asking these questions…

It’s exactly these kinds of choices that have caused so many women to run into problems with their fertility, but it also would not be fair to blame us. Choices and focusing on ourselves is the main cultural message that we’ve received… When I graduated from college my mother said to me: “Find your passion! Become yourself!” I had always interpreted that statement as an injunction to find and fine tune my personal interests and career rather than burdening myself too early with the kinds of compromises necessary to form an enduring relationship and a family. So instead of hunting for a husband, I spent my twenties exploring my eclectic interests and surfing through different kinds of relationships with men. Birth control and not getting pregnant was a strong part of my social DNA. Fertility consciousness and a strong consideration of the route to my future family was not. I very much lived for the moment, probably an inheritance of the “Me Generation” motto “If it feels good, do it!” And then came Internet dating, which I think bred a kind of pickiness that has lead me to believe that the “Me Generation” feel good motto has now morphed into a new motto for my generation: “If it doesn’t feel perfect, I’m outta here!”

Read the rest here. The author does not hesitate to describe just how harmful the modern dating environment is for men and women alike. There’s much to consider in this short piece.

Category: Biblical Womanhood, Feminism & Related Issues | 3 Comments »
Tags: children, feminism, motherhood

July 19, 2010 | Author: Jennie Chancey

‘They couldn’t believe it when I told them I have chosen to be a full-time mother,’ says the 27-year-old, who lives in South-West London with her husband Richard, 30, a teacher, and her children George, four, and Verity, two.

‘I could tell from their reaction that they couldn’t help assuming I must be bored stiff  -  but that is simply just not the case….

And Ellen is not alone in holding what many women might perceive as an antiquated view  -  a growing number of young, well-educated British women are striking back at the have-it-all generation and choosing motherhood over careers.

After decades during which the number of women who work has steadily increased, it appears the tide is turning back to a more traditional family model….

What’s also clear is that many more mothers would follow suit if they could. A survey revealed that 52 per cent of mothers return to work because they cannot afford to stay at home bringing up their children. Only a small minority, just 22 per cent, return because they actually want to continue their career.

Read the rest here. We find it ironic that the writer wants to label this as a new “radicalism” when it is simply a return to the time-tested model that is best for children and families and flies in the face of feminism.

Category: Feminism & Related Issues, Getting Back Home | No Comments »
Tags: children, family, homemaking, marriage, Mothering

July 16, 2010 | Author: Mrs. June Fuentes

What is home culture, you ask?

Home culture is the atmosphere that is purposefully and intentionally cultivated within the four walls of your home. It is the music when you walk in the door, it is the conversation at the dinner table, it is games played by the fireside, it is the singing when your daughters do the dishes or the laughter of small toddlers who find a small green caterpillar. Culture…it exists just as richly and lively inside your home as it does outside your front door.

(more…)

Category: Mothering | 6 Comments »
Tags: family, home, homemaking, Mothering

July 16, 2010 | Author: Tiffany

Over the years I’ve gotten used to my ideas of traditional womanhood and godly femininity being called “too conservative,” but, even so, I’ve sometimes wondered if friends and family were right: I just needed to loosen up.

After all, going to extremes can be dangerous, and being too conservative is no better than going to the other extreme and being too liberal, right? At least, that’s what I was beginning to wonder after being repeatedly told so all along. (more…)

Category: Biblical Womanhood | 7 Comments »
Tags: femininity, marriage, womanhood

July 16, 2010 | Author: Diane Shiffer

So, early yesterday morning, while most of the neighborhood was still abed, the boy next door headed out to work. He was sleepy and nervous about his new job and not used to the blind spot in his just acquired Blazer and… well… this was the result. The front quarter of the aforementioned Blazer looks almost as bad.

Smashing into my car was Dumb Thing Number 1 that Joe did yesterday. Not noticing the village maintenance men who were working on the street was Dumb Thing Number 2. And driving off without even looking back.. well, that was Really Dumb Thing Number 3.

(To read about the rest of Joe’s morning read here..)

Category: Biblical Womanhood, Personal Testimonies | 3 Comments »
Tags: Mothering

July 16, 2010 | Author: Anna T

A couple of days ago, I received a comment saying it’s impossible to live on one income alone in our day and age. This touched a nerve (in a positive way!), because most people would probably say it’s impossible to manage on our monthly budget, yet we have been doing it for a while now.

(more…)

Category: Getting Back Home, Practical Homemaking | 5 Comments »
Tags: frugality

July 7, 2010 | Author: Jamie V Marino

It’s funny how we have to go to the UK to read the truth about the abortion breast cancer link. You won’t find this information in the NY Times. Read the article over here.

Category: Hot-Button Issues | 7 Comments »
Tags: abortion, birth control, children

July 6, 2010 | Author: Bethany Hudson

A confident hand, large for a boy just become man, proffered in the dry heat of a Los Angeles July on Figueroa Street. A chance meeting mapped to the moment by Providence.

“Hi, I’m Brian Hudson. I’m from Idaho.”

I notice the hiking boots with Navy Surplus socks pulled up and backpack strapped across the chest, the small iron cross hanging from a leather cord around his neck. I notice farmer-tanned arms, strong with building houses down in Mexico for a summer. Fingers blistered playing guitar in the streets of Rosarito, worship hymns around the campfire. Blue eyes alight with ambition and kindness. I knew then that he was something rare, a Gentle Man.

Read the rest here.

Category: Personal Testimonies, Responsible Manhood | 1 Comment »
Tags: marriage

July 6, 2010 | Author: Diane Shiffer

Well ladies, I am excited. After much to-do and months of preparation, my little Etsy headcovering shop is about to open, and I can scarcely contain myself. In fact I can’t contain myself… so I decided to throw caution to the winds and just give a whole bunch of my coverings away. All of my designs are lovingly created using only the finest of natural fiber fabrics, and many are trimmed with all sorts of vintage lovelies. Every day this week, from today until Saturday, there’ll be a new design featured on Tomato Soup Cake. On Monday next: June 12, 2010 (which coincidentally is the date Lovely Coverings will be opening,) I’ll announce one winner who will receive the whole wardrobe of a half dozen coverings. It’s so easy to enter.. just visit Tomato Soup Cake and leave a comment.

Category: Giveaways | 2 Comments »
Tags: giveaway