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Since 2002, LAF has refuted the follies of feminism and promoted a strong, intelligent, biblical view of womanhood. We love femininity and are delighted to share the beauties of the womanly virtues with women all over the world. New to LAF? Start here! Looking for older articles? Please visit the archives!

The Effects of Marriage vs. Cohabitation On Crime

March 3, 2015 | Author:

Parker Knight Compfight CC

Parker Knight Compfight CC

In Florida, it is still technically illegal for an unmarried man and woman to live together, but that might be about to change.

Senator Eleanor Sobel recently filed a bill to repeal the outdated law, which CBS reports “has been on the books for decades,” in spite of a 2011 attempt to change it. Ms. Sobel’s bill “would also remove a provision that allows a judge to prevent a parent from having contact with their child if they are convicted of breaking the cohabitation law.”

As many view cohabitation as the new marriage, this story made few headlines. But new research indicates that many states and municipalities have more of a reason for interest than they might realize in this seemingly innocuous behavior of their constituents.

Read the rest here

Recommended Resources
The Excellent Wife: A Biblical Perspective
She Shall Be Called Woman: Victoria Botkin’s Study of Practical Wisdom From Scripture for the 21st Century Woman
The Ministry of Marriage
Marrying Well: Practical Wisdom on Courtship for Parents and Children
Family Reformation

Kids Aren’t Expensive But Greed Is

February 28, 2015 | Author:

quinn.anya Compfight CC

quinn.anya Compfight CC

[Editor’s note: Your kids don’t even know who the Jones family is but unmistakably they’ll be dazzled by all the things they see around them, all the activities they see others doing and it’s easy to let them pull on our heart strings. Couple that with what we see in other families and what appears to be a different economic level than us and we start to believe it’s true, raising kids ‘right’ without cutting corners is impossibly expensive. When we measure ourselves by ourselves, we not only find we will always fall short of someone else but we’ll fall into the trap of setting goals and pursuing ambitions that may have nothing to do with our own families and God’s particular calling for us. We’re also essentially defining ourselves by man and man’s ever changing culturally influenced standard of success rather than God’s standard for mankind. In a success driven culture it’s important to remember that we’re called to be primarily faithful and in so much that the Lord blesses our faithfulness with prosperity to work His own ends we’ll enjoy it.

The author rightly points out that children will seem expensive if we have a material view of life. Materialism will set us at odds with our children and child bearing. Children become an accessory and our material lives are the show case. But children are not pets. Having children will cut into our own materialistic desires and while some remedy the frustration by not having children, we’ve found that some of the happiest, self-less, well rounded, culturally influential and highly educated kids come from having a focus on God and his kingdom. A supernatural god’s design and intents for man is much better than a superhero or a super-exaggerated, hyper-inflated lifestyle.

Consequently, it doesn’t take money to be materialistic. It just takes an unchecked sin nature and an earthly self-glorifying ambition.]

My husband and I have always wanted a lot of kids. (Of course, “a lot” is a relative term, depending what your social circles look like, but for the purpose of this post, we’re going to call “a lot” more than 3. Ha.) Over the last 6 years, when we’ve made our feelings known, we’ve often been met with one particular phrase: Kids are so expensive!!

Well, on the one hand, I suppose they are. Depending on your particular situation – medical bills, dental care, school tuition, etc. all definitely add up. So I’m not trying to be flippant with what I’m about to say, but I do think it’s an important distinction to be made when one is saying how “expensive” children are.

Read the rest here

Recommended Resources
Passionate Housewives Desperate for God
Three Decades of Fertility
Start Your Family: Inspiration for Having Babies
The Ministry of Marriage

The Difficulty of Admitting We Want to Be Married

February 28, 2015 | Author:

Norman Rockwell

Norman Rockwell

[Editor’s Note: It’s okay to want to get married. Feminism has made it seem a crime. But the Lord has designed us for it and calls us to it. Pity is a dangerous thing, don’t accept it. Self-pity is an addicting sin. It breeds discontentment, insatiable self-interest, makes you emotionally needy, weak and annoying to others, and it feeds the notion that God is not sovereign which leads to faithlessness. You can rest assure that as soon as you feel sorry for yourself, you’ll tell someone. Keep in mind that there isn’t a single person on this plant that doesn’t have something they could sorrow over. Whenever you’re feeling sorry for yourself purpose to go do something selfless for someone in need. If you are taking practical, emotionally mature steps toward helping yourself get married, when people hear of your desire to marry they’ll resist pitying you and instead be inspired by your example. They may even help you find the spouse you’re looking for.]

By Jennifer Adams and Boundless

She looked at me wanting to know what I wanted to do with my life. We were merely acquaintances meeting for a meal and a chance to get to know each other better. She continued, “If you could do anything you wanted, what would you do?” There was nothing about her that suggested I couldn’t trust her with the truth. In that moment I should have said, “I want to be a wife and mom. I want to serve in ministry in the context of a family. I want to be an example of Christ in a marriage, my marriage.” But those words were not the words that came out of my mouth. In all honesty, I’m not sure what I said. I probably said something about wanting to serve in ministry or about wanting to work with young pregnant teens or maybe even about wanting to help in the fight against trafficking. I don’t know. I do know I left off the part about wanting to be married.

Read the rest here

Recommended Resources
Marrying Well: Practical Wisdom on Courtship for Parents and Children
Family Reformation
How To Evaluate A Suitor
The Excellent Wife: A Biblical Perspective

Newly Wed Thoughts: Does Culture Influence Marriage?

February 27, 2015 | Author:

www.raanetwork.org

www.raanetwork.org

In 2012, Steven James Dixon, relationship expert and author, wrote a short piece titled, “Why I Married a Black Woman” for Essence. In it Dixon, a black man, lists a string of reasons why he “had to have me a sister”, most of which pointed to cultural similarities. He wants to marry “someone who understands that Thanksgiving means collard greens, cornbread, peach cobbler and honey ham” or his need to have “somebody to watch Love Jones with me.”

The article was most helpful towards the end, in its exhortation to black men and our relationships with black women. Dixon tells black men, “when you attack the Black woman, you attack yourself. When you look at her, you should see your mother, your sister, your aunt, your niece, your likeness.”

But I thought what preceded this conclusion painted a monolithic picture of black women and black men, for that matter. It assumed cultural preferences and unintentionally defines what being black means.

Read the rest here

Recommended Resources
The Ministry of Marriage
What He Must Be: …If He Wants to Marry My Daughter
Joyfully at Home: A Book for Young Ladies on Vision and Hope
Feminine by Design

Correct thinking about singleness – SermonAudio.com

February 26, 2015 | Author:

anastasia r Compfight CC

anastasia r Compfight CC

In this message, Scott Brown reveals some important matters that single Christians need to consider as they navigate the sometimes difficult waters of singleness. First, he begins by speaking of the times we live and the questions and problems that modern single living presents. Second, he identifies important matters of the culture you build in your church that are either a blessing or harmful to singles. Third, he speaks of the kind of preparations that singles need to make to get themselves ready for marriage. Fourth, he explains some of the critical things that Jesus spoke on singleness. Finally, he reveals the most important matter for understanding the single years – the sovereignty of God.

via Correct thinking about singleness – SermonAudio.com.

Recommended Resources
Marrying Well: Practical Wisdom on Courtship for Parents and Children
Family Reformation
How To Evaluate A Suitor
The Blessed Marriage

An Old Problem, a New Enemy: Why We Don’t Love Home

February 24, 2015 | Author:

I think often about that woman in the Bible, the woman hanging out in Proverbs 31, the model for a godly woman. She does many things, wears many hats.

But one thing she does well, one thing is her priority: her home, husband and children. Her other pursuits fall around that.

“She looks well to the ways of her home, she is not idle…” Prov. 31:27

Somewhere along the way, a few generations back, the priority of homes, children and husbands took a backseat to promised fulfillment. Women became lured by the sirens of career, accolades and accomplishment, and the daily, hard, sleeve-rolling work became more mundane and distasteful in light of the exciting, interesting activity available. Women became distracted from their families because, quite frankly, family work is lackluster.

That was disconcerting enough.

But something looms dangerously familiar, now, even in homes where for a time, women had returned as stout, home-builders.

Read more…

A Vision For Homeschooling

February 24, 2015 | Author:

John-Morgan Compfight CC

John-Morgan Compfight CC

I remember the day we decided pull our daughter out of school. The day we “made it public”—this decision to homeschool.

I.Was.Terrified. Really. My knees were knocking as I walk[ed] into our oldest daughter’s grade school. I liked her teacher. I had no complaints, really, except that we knew in our hearts there was something missing.

We longed for more. More shared experiences. More tailored education. A greater focus on the Creator of the beauty that surrounded us. A desire to dig deeper into family life. More story time. More field trips. Less rushing to go our separate ways every morning. More LIFE.

That was fifteen years ago. Our beautiful second grader is now a beautiful wife and is expecting her own child this year. Time goes by fast.

In the past fifteen years, we’ve seen a lot of changes in the homeschool community. There is much more pressure being put on homeschoolers to excel academically. We’ve gone from a few brave moms who, without access to mainstream “curriculum”, managed to give their children an excellent education—but we’ve forgotten what made it excellent.

It was excellent because these moms had a vision for homeschooling—they weren’t trying to re-create school at home. They were simply being obedient to the One who had called them to be different. They knew that if He had called them, He would equip them. And they were right.

Read the rest here

Recommended Resources
Curriculum Advice, Vol. 1
Curriculum Advice Vol. 2
Chucking College: Achieving Success Without Corruption
Pajama School – stories from the life of a homeschool graduate

Sociologist Becomes Stay-At-Home Mom

February 23, 2015 | Author:

Harsha K R Compfight CC

Harsha K R Compfight CC

[Editor’s Note: Grateful for this article. If we prepare ourselves for being keepers of our homes and families we’ll have the opportunity to disciple and educate our children as well. Much of what we regularly outsource can be done by us. Outsourcing our labors can also be turned into home businesses and family economies where children will learn a business and work ethic along side you and surprisingly, they’ll love it in place of hours, days, and weeks on end of being entertained and engaging in fruitless activities.]

Firstly, we need for mothers to recognize the value that the work of the home has and its impact. We need to value the little things that we do each day in the home, and do them out of love, with a spirit of service, thinking of others, of our loved ones and our society. Too often we attribute more value to formal, well-paid work as recognized by society, and we forget the true worth of the little acts that we carry out in the comfort of our homes.

Secondly, we need to recognize the value of our role as parents. We need to dedicate time everyday to doing things better. It is worth it to invest in our family.

The home is where the child learns to be a person, to socialize with those around them and with society. It is in the home where values are learned, where children learn to be independent and responsible, and where their basic needs are met. Our children are the adults of the society of the future.

This is where we can start building a better society. It is the cradle of society, where people learn, internalize values and acquire customs and habits.

Read the rest here

Recommended Resources
Passionate Housewives Desperate for God
Three Decades of Fertility
Start Your Family: Inspiration for Having Babies
The Ministry of Marriage

Deep Wounds That Need Healing

February 23, 2015 | Author:

irina slutsky Compfight CC

irina slutsky Compfight CC

[Editor’s Note: Censoring the books is appropriate and should be suggested. Take the time to read the articles linked to this post.]

The film’s opening exposed a deep wound. It needs healing.

Whatever happens to the book and film franchise, the real life toll of human torture it exposes has to stay prominent in public debate and social action. It’s been in the shadows for far too long, and done incalculable damage.

Dr. Peter Kleponis told me on radio that after spending nearly two decades in marriage counseling, something changed, and the reality of the scourge of pornography addiction started becoming more apparent and more urgent in the crises he found himself dealing with, though nobody would talk openly about it.

“They’re making out as if this caught on all by itself, but it wasn’t organic growth. There’s been a juggernaut of media behind this, and it’s selling to women an image that somehow if you love a sadist out of his (abuse) you’ll have a great life,” (Dr. Gail Dines) said.

“When in reality, how ’50 Shades’ would end is that she’s running for her life to a battered women’s shelter, with children in tow, she’s got her front teeth knocked out, she’s got cigarette burns up and down her arm…she’s living off the grid without a bank account or a cell phone, cause these sadists never let go.”

Read the rest here

Recommended Resources
Doctrine of Repentance (Puritan Paperbacks)
Letting Go of Anger
Raising Maidens of Virtue: A Study of Feminine Loveliness for Mothers and Daughters
Passionate Housewives Desperate for God

Consent is Not Enough

February 23, 2015 | Author:

European Parliament Compfight CC

European Parliament Compfight CC

Consent is not enough. It is not enough to justify BDSM or any other exploitative sexual practice. Consent is too flimsy a foundation for Ana Steele to justify the destructive things that are done to her by Christian Grey in “Fifty Shades of Grey.” For this reason I consider “Fifty Shades” to be grossly sexually destructive – especially of women – and I am boycotting the film.

“As long as he or she is consenting, it’s OK.” No it’s not, because people consent all the time to practices that they know are destructive and this doesn’t make such practices right. First, people can be pressured by their culture or their peers into things that they know are harmful to them.

Maybe the cultural or social pressure is not overt…But humans have a powerful desire to be accepted. Countless times when we think that our peers or our cultural surroundings are not accepting us, we voluntarily change our behaviors in order to fit in. We are very good at voluntarily doing what’s popular even when no one else is explicitly pushing us to do it. The need for acceptance is enough to compel us, on our own, to do things that we know will harm our souls or bodies in the long run.

Read the rest here

Recommended Resources
Doctrine of Repentance (Puritan Paperbacks)
Letting Go of Anger
Raising Maidens of Virtue: A Study of Feminine Loveliness for Mothers and Daughters
Passionate Housewives Desperate for God

“Get Married” – Candice Watters’s Bold Apologetic (Book Review)

February 23, 2015 | Author:

johnhope14 Compfight cc

johnhope14 Compfight cc

By Mrs. Chancey

I was sitting in class learning about all the ways our country was slipping from its constitutional foundations. And in a moment of exasperation, I raised my hand and called out, “So what’s the solution?” … I knew how hard it was to change the culture and was losing my will to believe there really was a solution. But I was hoping that maybe this passionate, articulate, creative professor had some new ideas to teach us…. Dr. Hubert Morken didn’t disappoint. He looked at me with a twinkle in his eye and let his grenade fly: “Get married, make babies, and do government. That’s how we win.” His response was so different from what I was expecting that it nearly knocked the wind out of me…. Even though I grew up in a Christian home, with parents who were committed to staying married…I had picked up the idea from the Christian culture around me that celibate service was superior to marriage and that to be truly spiritual, you had to at least be open to the possibility. Now this was professor was telling me that God’s plan for believers, most of them anyway, and for the future good of society, was marriage and babies. Family. It was a shock to my system. ~ from the introduction to Get Married by Candice Watters

Candice Watters is bold, and she’s on a mission to challenge the “being single is holier” myth that has pervaded Christendom in recent years. Her unabashed endorsement of Christian marriage is a breath of fresh air and offers hope to unmarried women who desire godly spouses and families.

I first came across Mrs. Watters’s writings on Boundless.org, the webzine she started in 1998. Boundless overflows with thought-provoking articles for Christians who want to live by God’s Word in a world that is often hostile to its precepts and principles. I’ve been most encouraged to see a number of Boundless writers stand firmly for Christian marriage, encouraging men to grow up and pursue it and women to prepare and pray for it.

Let’s face it; there are thousands of unmarried Christian women out there who wonder where all the “Mr. Rights” have gone. Where are the men who desire a godly wife and have a vision to bring up the next generation of Christians? In our culture of “hooking up” (yes, sadly, even in Christian circles) and extended adolescence, a mature, respectable man is regarded like a UFO sighting: rare, unbelievable, and unlikely to pass by again.

So when Candice Watters boldly declares that women need to get serious about marriage and pray for it to happen, it might seem a bit pie-in-the-sky to jaded women who’ve nearly given up. But Mrs. Watters doesn’t just cast the vision; she provides practical, biblical steps that single ladies can take in their quest to become a “Mrs.” (more…)

Contraception and Cancer

February 23, 2015 | Author:

kendrak Compfight CC

kendrak Compfight CC

The News Story – Why you’re still paying for birth control even though it’s “free” now

Susie Poppick writes for TIME this week about her near-miss at having to fork over a $50 copay for her birth control.

“Strange,” she thought, since she was sure that “preventative” health services like contraception were supposed to be free under the Affordable Care Act. She promptly went home, got on the phone with her insurance provider, and was told that only generic medications were free. The problem is, her particular brand didn’t have a generic yet. She dug a little deeper, and she was quickly told that all she had to do was to tell her physician to call her pharmacy and assure them that she needed this brand.

Poppick cautions women against being taken in, and writes that “Many women—and their insurance representatives, doctors, and pharmacists—aren’t on the same page about whether their particular contraception should have a copay or not.” The best thing for women to do is to educate themselves, and soon, such obstacles will be taken care of.

But recent research suggests that journalists like Ms. Poppick should spend less time on getting free birth control, and more time on educating themselves and others on the deadly risks posed by hormonal contraception.

Read the rest here

Recommended Resources
Wait Till It’s Free
Three Decades of Fertility: Ten Ordinary Women Surrender to the Creator and Embrace Life
Passionate Housewives Desperate for God
Start Your Family: Inspiration for Having Babies

What lifetime romance is made of

February 20, 2015 | Author:

adwriter Compfight CC

adwriter Compfight CC

Until 1993, for 16 years I taught international relations at Georgetown University. In the concluding lecture of the year I used to share with my students some personal reflections to help them as they embarked upon their careers. Many were especially grateful for my advice about how to have a successful marriage. In this regard, I have always advised people to heed only marriage advice from those who are happily married. I consider myself especially well qualified as I have been exceedingly happy with my wife Joan for over 30 years. Here is what I told my students.

Read the rest here

Recommended Resources
Get Married
The Ministry of Marriage
Sex, Marriage, and Family in John Calvin’s Geneva: Courtship, Engagement and Marriage
Marrying Well

Lullaby for a Nameless Child by Andy Kenway

February 18, 2015 | Author:

Lullaby for a Nameless Child

If I could sing for you my song
Some angel’s tongue to borrow,
I’d sing for you the whole night long,
Sweet baby of my sorrow

For you were just a mother’s child,
As fair as any other;
A friend to me you might have been,
If only to your mother

But he who tore the threads of life
That God’s own hand was weaving,
He took his pay and washed his knife,
Nor for his crime was grieving

Oh, life is sweet when love is kind,
But they did not revere it;
The ground in grief and anger cried,
But heav’n alone would hear it

Too small to run, too weak to fight,
Too young to know a warning,
Like thieves they caught you in the night,
And stole away the morning

Who could conceive this dark design?
My heart, it fails within me;
I wish to God you had been mine,
If one among so many

Then sleep in silence, little one,
The morn was nearly breaking;
But cruel hands put out the sun,
And never you’ll be waking

Super Women vs Superwoman

February 17, 2015 | Author:

cafemama Compfight CC

cafemama Compfight CC

[Editor’s note: There will always be women who strive to succeed at the highest level. That is why it is important that we understand the jurisdiction God gave women and all the things within that jurisdiction that she can put her hand to, excel, and prosper at. Ask yourself, “Who are the real producers?” Much of the feminist ambition is achieved by truncating, cutting back, killing, taxing, borrowing, etc. Stay-at-home wives and mothers produce and have something to show for their work when they’re done. They’re truly fruitful. More people through child bearing, better education through the work they do with home education, christian discipleship in the homes creating a people group with sound moral ethics, established debt-free home economies, home-businesses, cultural discipleship through church and community involvement relieving the burden of the state welfare systems, etc.

Also, what is ‘flashy’ exactly? Flashy is pride not a fruit of the spirit, or a christian virtue, flashy is nothing and you can’t build with nothing.]

An article published in The Daily Mail today laments that women increasingly base their self-worth on the success of their working lives, labelling this a “toxic legacy of the feminist Superwoman“.  It asks the question: “Career women insist feminism means ALL women having jobs, but could that belief blight the lives of mothers – and their children?“.

It is a question worth asking.  How much must women do to realize their true worth and live great lives?  Even government policy is so often now pointed towards encouraging women back into work, increasing economic ‘productivity’ (forgetting, perhaps, that a working age, tax paying population is a direct result of mothers bringing up children and stable family life), and making regular counts of the numbers of women in top corporate and government positions to show how far we have come.

All this makes it easy for women to feel that they are not doing something truly important unless they also have some sort of career.  So much is expected of women today. There is no question that this is one of the reasons that countries across the world are seeing dramatic and worrying drops in fertility rates.

Read the rest here

Recommended Resources
Passionate Housewives Desperate for God
Three Decades of Fertility
Start Your Family: Inspiration for Having Babies
BIRTH CONTROL: How Did We Get Here?