Those of us who embrace Biblical womanhood are taking a leap of faith. Some, depending on their husband’s income, the support of their church, the emotional fulfillment they have found in their career, and other factors, might be said to be taking a more nerve-wracking leap then others.

There have been many testimonies given about God’s faithfulness to provide; about the women who decided to come home and their husbands got promoted, about finding out that cutting out a second income actually saved money, about the children who shed tears of gratitude to be taken out of school. However, this is not unanimously everyone’s experience.

The married couple rejects artificial birth control, only to discover they are infertile. The husband is fired two weeks after his wife quits. Despite all the cost-cutting, attempts to earn an income from home, and rejection of materialism, the woman still can’t make the budget work on just her husband’s income and is forced to make the tough choice of going back to work or seeking help of some kind. The older children in the family resent leaving public school and make their opinion very well known, causing discord in the family. The younger children aren’t magically reformed in three days by the new discipline methods. Your sewing efforts break your machine. I’m sure you can think of other problems.

Many conflicting feelings arise in these situations. You feel rejected by God. You followed what He said in His word, right? Were you wrong? Maybe being at home just “isn’t what God called you to.” If you were supposed to be at home, why are you struggling so much? Or for some women, why is it just not possible?

It makes the criticism of others just that much harder to bear. When they ask, “How are you doing it?” you’re whispering in your heart “We’re not.” You see people sneer at your poor health, or your slightly more worn then normal clothes, or your medical insurance card, and you think, “Maybe I should go back to work.” Even other Christians tell you, “You know, you don’t have to keep doing this.” They pop in their brand-new car with their two children and run off to the local restaurant, carefree as can be, while you and your aching back put six cranky children in the car and pray that they fall asleep on the way home. Or maybe your heart aches for a child or a godly marriage, yet you see Christian couples who have been so blessed rejecting the gift of their children or spouse. Maybe they share your beliefs but knock you down by talking about “lack of faith” and “laziness” and “whining,” implying that all your problems are due to hypochondria, or a failure to work, or a failure to pray.

So what happens when God doesn’t seem to provide? Is His teaching about homemaking only applicable to those who have easy pregnancies, perfect pasts, and supportive husbands who can sustain a middle class lifestyle on their salary alone? Does a lack of success, whether financially or emotionally, mean that you are not following God’s will? That this is not true we can easily see from Holy Scripture.

One well-known example, of course, is Job: “If we have received good things at the hand of God, why should we not receive evil? In all these things Job did not sin with his lips” (Job 2:10). The reasons God allows suffering are far beyond the scope of this article. However, I’m going to put forth a few thoughts as to why we might specifically struggle in our occupation as homemakers.

1. Allowing the consequences of our sins. “And David said to Nathan: 'I have sinned against the Lord.' And Nathan said to David: 'the Lord also hath taken away thy sin. Thou shalt not die. Nevertheless, because thou has given occasion to the enemies of the Lord to blaspheme, for this thing, the child that is born to thee shall surely die'” (2 Kings 12:13, 14). We may pay the price for years of IUD usage by discovering we’re infertile. We may the price for poor financial choices by continued poor credit, a bankruptcy, or other financial difficulty. We may discover ourselves single unwillingly because of our formerly feminist lifestyle. God in His mercy may choose to remit or lessen our consequences, but He is under no obligation to. We are forgiven, and the Lord has taken away our sin. However, for the good of our souls, God may choose to allow us to suffer the consequences of our actions--something that any parent can understand.
   
   
2. To provide God a chance to show His glory. “And Jesus passing by saw a man who was blind from his birth. And his disciples asked him: 'Rabbi, who hath sinned, this man or his parents, that he should be born blind?' Jesus answered: 'Neither hath this man sinner, nor his parents, but that the works of God should be made manifest in him'” (John 9:1-2).
   God may not rescue us from our particular situation now in order to do so in a way later that will bring even greater glory to Him. But He will do it in Him time and in His way. “How he now seeth, we know not; or who hath opened his eyes, we know not. Ask himself: he is of age. Let him speak for himself” (John 9:23). Doubtless his parents and the man himself prayed for his healing, but those prayers must have seemed unanswered for his whole childhood and into his adulthood. Perhaps they had even resigned themselves to the condition and stopped praying. Scripture doesn’t say. But God, from before birth, had it ordained that this man would be a vessel used to bring glory to His Son. And so might we be.
   
   
3. So that God can do a work in us. “We glory also in tribulation, knowing that tribulation worketh patience; and patience trial, and trial hope (Romans 5:3-4).” Trials and tribulations produce traits in us that would not come otherwise. The Epistle of James says the same thing. “My brethren, count it all joy when you shall fall into divers temptations, knowing that the trying of your faith works patience, and patience hath a perfect work: that you may perfect and entire, failing in nothing” (James 1:2-4). What homemaker could not use more hope and patience?
   
   God is concerned with our souls first and foremost. If He has to make us uncomfortable in this world to have us with Him in the next, He will do so. God knows what is best for our salvation; and that may mean depriving us of some worldly goods or comforts. We need to totally abandon ourselves to Him and His providence, trusting that He will never fail us.
   
   
4. God said suffering would be the lot of those who follow Him. We live in a fallen world, and we will not be exempt from suffering, as homemakers or anything else, until we are in heaven with God. “But in all things let us exhibit ourselves as the ministers of God, in much patience, in tribulation, in necessities, in distresses….as dying and behold we live: as chastised and not killed: as sorrowful, yet always rejoicing: as needy, yet enriching many: as having nothing and possessing all things” (2 Corinthians 6:4, 9-10).
   
   The apostle Paul did not have a “mega-church” or “wealth and health!” He suffered for his work in spreading the faith. Well, we as mothers and wives have our own sphere for spreading the faith, and it too will involve hardships of poverty, of health, of many things. “Dearly beloved, think not strange the burning heat which is to try you: as if some new thing happened to you. But if you partake of the sufferings of Christ, rejoice that, when his glory shall be revealed, you may also be glad with exceeding joy. If you be reproached for the name of Christ, you shall be blessed: for that which is of the honor, glory, and power of God, and that which is His Spirit, resteth upon you. But let none of you suffer as a murdered or a thief or a railer or a coveter of other men’s things. But, if as a Christian, let him not be ashamed, but let him glorify God in that name” (I Peter 4:12-16). I used to see this verse as primarily referring to Christians in persecuted countries, or possibly name-calling or negative comments I might receive from the world for being a Christian. But if I suffer because I seek to honor God’s commandments for women, then I am also suffering as a Christian, in which case I should rejoice that I was “accounted worthy to suffer reproach for the name of Jesus” (Acts 5:41b).

To the world and to the Lord, success is two different things. Scripture is very clear that the cross was a scandal, a failure to the eyes of the world. “In like manner also the chief priests, with the scribes and ancients, mocking said: 'He saved others: himself he cannot save. If he be the king of Israel, let him now come down from the cross: and we will believe him. He trusted in God: let him now deliver him if He will have him. For he said: 'I am the Son of God'” (Matthew 27:42-43).

From the beginning, the cross has been a sign of contradiction. “But we preach Christ crucified: unto the Jews indeed a stumbling block, and unto the Gentiles foolishness: but unto them that are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ, the power of God and the wisdom of God. For the foolishness of God is wiser then men: and the weakness of God is stronger then men” (I Corinthians 1:25). And it is this cross, this scandal, the biggest failure imaginable--God on a cross being murdered by His creation--that we are called to take up in our daily lives, to carry with the eyes of faith that we might share in His glory. “Then Jesus said to his disciples: If any man will come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For he that will save his life shall lose it: and he that shall lose his life for My sake shall find it” (Matthew 12:24-25).

So take heart, sisters, daughters of the King, when you suffer while doing God’s will. Worldly success in Biblical womanhood is not the standard of success in the Lord’s eyes. You may not have a testimony of a healing or a financial miracle, but the testimony of faithfulness to God under suffering may be what this pagan world, so obsessed with its own comfort and so unwilling to take up its cross, needs most of all.



All Scripture quotations are from the Douay-Rheims version, Loreto Publications, 2002

© Copyright 2002-2009 by LAF/BeautifulWomanhood.org

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