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From ladiesagainstfeminism.com Biblical Womanhood and Christian Living
I knew the article about the Proverbs 31 woman might raise a few eyebrows as well as some questions, but I was still surprised by the flurry of concerned notes. Here are some of the remarks and questions I received:  Again, there is much to be praised when we speak of our 19th-century foremothers. I don't wish to throw the baby out with the bathwater. But the truth of the matter is that the turmoil of the times left families breathless and struggling to figure out the roles of fathers and mothers and even children in this new economy. Who needs a loom to make rugs when they can be purchased cheaper factory-made? Who needs to put so much effort into gardening when food is available pre-packaged in shops? (It's interesting to note that this question still faces stay-at-home wives and mothers today! People wonder what, exactly, there is to do at home with so many conveniences readily available.) But here's where we've got to go back to the Scriptural model--not some lovely ideal from an earlier time. What does the Bible say about the multi-faceted role of the wife and mother at home? More importantly, has that role changed or been negated by cultural shifts and technological advances? Let's look again at the Proverbs 31 woman--that do-it-all Superwoman who surely can't be taken seriously! The main concern raised by correspondents is the economic angle. So let's explore that. A straightforward reading of Proverbs 31 shows that this woman did bring in income with her wise investments:
This is the spirit of Proverbs 31. Not all women will have a talent or gift they can turn into a specialized home business, but most women can help their husbands by bookkeeping, ordering supplies, managing correspondence, etc. I have a friend whose mother has basically been secretary and office manager at home for her husband's construction business since they were newlyweds. All the children now also help in the business. It is a family effort. The husband is the provider, and the wife is his helper. This has biblical roots but also finds reflections in history when families have worked together to create what is called a "household economy." Colonial America is but one example of this, when entire towns were built around family-owned businesses where husbands and wives worked side by side (much as Aquila and Priscilla worked together as tentmakers--see Acts 18:3). What's more, children had a role in the economy of the home as well, helping their parents and learning alongside them. Today children are not looked upon as economic assets, but as financial drains--more mouths to feed. This is not to say children should be saddled with adult workloads from an early age! It's simply a reminder that children haven't always been viewed through the glass of consumerism. Indeed, the Bible lists the blessing of children alongside--even ahead of--financial wealth (see Deuteronomy 28:1-14). The biblical model for womanhood is not simply that of decorator or cook or laundress--though those are all tasks we certainly do. The biblical model of the family means wives help husbands to make the most of the family income as well. In our consumerist age, women are taught to spend, spend, spend. It's even held up as a virtue to buy things to boost the national economy (72% of our GDP is now consumer-driven)! Modern-day consumerism was born in the industrial revolution and has only grown in the nearly 200 years since. Often times our view of the role of wife and mother is colored by consumerism rather than by biblical precepts. The Proverbs 31 woman certainly does buy things (bringing food from afar, creating beautiful clothing from purchased materials, etc.), but she also knows what money is really about--growing the household, preparing the next generation, and helping the poor. She is thinking beyond her own lifetime to the lives of those who will come after her. Her skills not only grace the home and bless the family but reach beyond to the community and cause her husband to be admired and respected among the elders of the land. Now, that is a worthy goal for all of us! As far as practically working this out goes, every family is going to be different, because every husband is going to have a different calling and every wife a different set of skills and talents. We should work to develop the gifts that are going to serve our husbands and families best, and we shouldn't feel pressured to measure up to other women's accomplishments and other families' goals. Again, the point is not to run ourselves ragged to come up with brilliant home business plans that will enrich our families. Sometimes what we can do is as simple as reevaluating the family budget to see where we can use the finances more carefully. That's why Pastor Abshire used the example in his article of women who do all their own organic gardening in order to save money--which actually often ends up costing far more than buying organic (unless running an organic farm is the family business!). I did the math on this myself several years ago when we moved and I just didn't see how I could manage to put in a vegetable garden and keep it up. I felt guilty for not doing this until I sat down with my husband and went over the numbers. I was utterly shocked to see how much it cost us to do our own gardening (in labor and money)--and how cost-effective it was for me to purchase from local farmers...even organic! Same thing with baking our own bread. I haven't done it for over two years (since just before the twins came). It really began to eat away at time I didn't have to spare. Back in Virginia I knew homeschoolers who ran a home bakery business and sold loaves at reasonable prices. So we supported their home business, and I didn't put the time into grinding wheat and baking bread myself. This helped our family budget and helped me use my time more wisely (on homeschooling five children). We don't have a similar business here in Alabama that I know of, so I purchase organic bread inexpensively at a local store. It's also important to note that there's nothing inherently wrong with making crafts and selling them (I think Pastor Abshire might have come down a bit hard on women who produce home goods for sale). For many years, my mother had a doll-making and craft-making business with which my siblings and I helped (selling at a local craft fair each fall and also supplying a town merchant with goods). That brought in a little extra money and gave us fun projects to do as a family from home. In today's immense online market with international as well as national outlets, it's not hard to find a niche' to fill! From eBay to Etsy, home crafters, seamstresses, artists, etc. can easily market their goods with little up-front investment. We're finally coming full-circle as the cottage industry and household economy blossom again. But, finally, let me clearly state that we do not want to fall into the trap of equating a woman's value with what she can earn monetarily. While the godly woman's economic role isn't a small one, it certainly isn't the only one. It's a small slice of what she does to make her husband and family successful. Her other callings (hospitality, training children, creating a beautiful home, choosing good food for her household, caring for the poor, etc.) are just as important. And none of us are going to do all these wonderful things at the same time--God gives us seasons in which to work. Children grow up; grandchildren come. A home business is passed down to children or replaced with other activities. A husband's calling or place of work changes. In all of these seasons, the wise wife is flexible and simply does what is most important for the day. All of us have to learn how to balance these things, but it can be done! I hope this helps sweep away some cobwebs--or, better still, encourages further conversations around dinner tables and gets us all back into the Scriptures as we seek to live out God's calling. That's the goal!
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Now, one other issue has crowded my inbox with inquiries, so I want to post a quick response to it. Anna Sofia and Elizabeth Botkin recently posted a clip from an interview with me they conducted this past summer. My remarks have raised some concerns I'd like to answer here. You can view the clip by clicking on the image below:
 All of the notes I've received boil down to one basic question: "Are you saying that daycare workers are brainless? Perhaps you could clarify." Happy to! Let me first give you an outline of my remarks and some context. When the Botkins interviewed me, they asked about the modern-day "cult of the expert," where we are constantly told it takes experts to do this or that. I noted the plethora of books available nowadays on educational methods--each one touted by experts in their field, most of whom seek to set up their method as the method. When it comes to teaching children, we have no end of experts to weigh us down with methods, approaches, and steps. But we get a totally contradictory message from the experts when a woman declares she will stay at home and teach her own children. Suddenly, bringing up children is "brainless" and a waste of talent. She's told to put them in daycare or send them to school. My point is that these experts simply do not see the implication of what they are saying! When they declare teaching children is brainless and in the same breath urge women to send their offspring to daycare, they imply that daycare workers are brainless and talentless! I do not believe this. I know many godly Christian daycare teachers who put heart and soul into their charges and pour ample talent and intelligence into their work. The contradiction comes from the "experts" who hold, on the one hand, that it takes their vast knowledge to come up with the best methods to teach children, but, on the other hand, it takes no brains to stay at home with one's own children, educating and training them! My comment that "it doesn't make any sense" points directly at this contradiction. That's it, plain and simple. The experts can't have it both ways. There are many other issues surrounding this one that could be addressed, but you'll have to wait for the premier of the "Return of the Daughters!" The interviewees who participated in this project address modern-day myths surrounding education (including the notion that no woman can be brainy without a piece of paper from an institution of "higher" learning). I look forward to the final results and trust you do, too! Hopefully, this answers the many questions that have been raised. I am frankly glad to know folks are raising questions and thinking about this issue. Bravo! © Copyright 2002-2008 by LAF/BeautifulWomanhood.org
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