Biblical Womanhood and Christian Living
"Honor Thy Father and Thy Mother" ~ Ephesians 6:2
Taking the above portion of scripture, I would like girls to focus on the words "honor thy father." So often I see a very disrespectful spirit about young girls toward their fathers.
Let's take a commonly cited scene for our example:
A father may say, "Young lady, you aren't leaving this house wearing that! Go and change your clothes." Whereupon the girl will scowl, roll her eyes, exaggerate a sigh, turn on her heel and stomp off to her room. Who knows what goes through her head towards her father, but let's not ask. If this is said in front of one of her friends, so much the worse, for she will utter mean words about him and complain to her friends.
Her poor father, meanwhile, who was doing the right and noble thing by protecting not only his daughter (by warning her of her way of dressing), but also the young men she would encounter (by keeping their eyes from sinning), is being persecuted. He may be thankful that at least he has a daughter who will mind (if the girl actually went to do as he said), though grudgingly. He may think of other dads whose girls do not obey at all.
Let us not think, girls, that fathers don't really care about their daughters--how they dress and what they do. If he didn't care, he wouldn't take the trouble to say something about it. What man would want his daughter hanging around the streets in seductive clothing (e.g. anything too tight, too short, too low, exposing the belly, etc.)? What dad desires a daughter with a baby and no husband, no provisions and no future, compliments of her rebellion? I assure you, no father does.
This applies to other behaviors as well. Would any dad in his right mind want his daughter to be a thief, gang member, drunkard, druggie, arsonist, etc.? No, so he will say something unfavorable to you about your friend if he deems her an immodest, impious flirt. Or he will express his disapproval about the boy that is coming around, or the group you associate with. He does not want their influence in your life, and, believe me, they do influence you, whether you think so or not.
If your father complains about your dress, music, friends, cleanliness, driving, visiting habits and hours, etc., you might stop and ask yourself "Why?" from his point of view. Certainly, no parent in his right mind would want to make his child miserable, or desire his child to hate him, so in your questioning, leave those excuses out.
The best thing would be for the father and the mother to start young and monitor the money, shopping and activities that their girls have and do. But as we know, too often a dad doesn't have time to do this, and somehow or another these things sneak into the house. Thus, the struggle for authority begins...will it be dad's word or the daughter's?
How much better would the lives of the daughter and father be if there was honor in her treatment of him! How much smoother the daughter's path would be, how much more blessed her spirit, if with an honoring, deferring heart she took a good, honest look at herself and her motivations, and said, "Yes, Dad. I'll go change right now. I'm sorry," turning quietly to go and do so. Then, upon mending the offending appearance, coming back to her father for his approval, instead of saying "Can I go now?" with an impatient grudging tone in her voice, says "Is this okay, Dad? I love you. Thank you for taking care of me." How much happier she will be! And how shocked a previously abused father would be! Who knows, he may be moved to pull out his wallet and say, "Daughter, let's get you some new clothes, so you won't have to wear those immodest rags again. They are obviously too small for you, or perhaps they have shrunk in the wash."
Perhaps that is a bit wishful. At any rate, a father's heart will be made glad. Remember, "A soft answer turns away wrath" (Proverbs 15:1). Do you think that if you responded to your dad in an honoring way, that the next time he had to speak to you (and let us hope that there is no next time, for the wise girl will mend her ways and change her habits) there would be no anger in his voice? And if you showed him honor and honesty in all your ways, not hiding, sneaking, or in any other way trying to "get around" his rules, that he may deem you trustworthy?
If your father expected an honoring, obedient response from you, then instead of being his rebellious daughter who must be reigned in, scolded, glared at or controlled, he would see you as a joy and delight to his life! And on your wedding day, may shed tears over "Daddy's little girl" leaving his home, instead of wiping his brow in relief that the problem of his life and torment of his household is gone at last.
Pro 1:5 "A wise man will hear, and will increase learning...."
Ecc 7:5 "It is better to hear the rebuke of the wise, than for a man to hear the song of fools."
Pro 9:9 "Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be yet wiser: teach a just man, and he will increase in learning."
Pro 14:16 "A wise man feareth, and departeth from evil: but the fool rageth, and is confident."
Pro 15:20 "A wise son maketh a glad father: but a foolish man despiseth his mother."
Pro 17:10 "A reproof entereth more into a wise man than an hundred stripes into a fool."
Eph 6:1-4 "Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honor thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."
Note: This is written by Elizabeth Humphrey (Lillibeth), my daughter, now 24, who had a perfect relationship with her own father when she was at home, even as a teenager. There was rarely a cross word between them, and she had a high regard for him and never wanted to disappoint him. Throughout her youth, neither her father or I were ever put in the position of having to worry about her standard of dress. She loved period fashion, fashion designing, and beautiful fabrics. She learned to sew at age 9 and has been making her own clothes ever since. She never wanted to dress like the world, and her relationship with her parents and brothers meant far more to her than the opinion of her peers. ~ Mrs. Stanley Sherman
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