Dear LAH [sic], I am a Christian and I have been encouraged by your website and the value you place on homemaking. I have been a homemaker for twenty-five years. I am very troubled by some of your opinions on women going to college and working outside the home. I have a teaching degree, and I am thankful I do, because my husband left me after twenty-four years of marriage. I cannot think of a Church in my city that could afford to support all the women that get left by their husbands or widowed. I am also troubled by the conformity I see in how you deam [sic] women should look, the long shapeless dresses and long hair remind me of the way the Morman women look. It has an oppressed cult feeling. I am also reminded of a Gothard view of women's role which I do not believe to be Biblical. I do believe that children need a Mother in the home and will suffer without her presence, but children grow up and working outside the home is sometimes necessary. Sincerely, Patsy

This letter came with no return e-mail address, so we have no way to respond personally. We are glad that the writer has enjoyed many of the articles on LAF, but we find the second half of her letter utterly bewildering. The issue about the support of widows and abandoned women is a serious one and involves more than just the hot-button topic of women in the workplace. What are we to do as Christians when fathers abandon their families or women lose their husbands? The answer is not to dump these ladies back into the work force. It is a sign of judgment on the Church today that families and churches are doing just this. It is our belief that Scripture clearly teaches that Christians are to provide for the needy/widowed/abandoned women in their own families. Failing faithful relatives who can help, the Church is to encourage younger women to remarry and to put older "widows indeed" on its list of those it will support financially full-time. Why does this make us so uncomfortable today? Why do we shy away from such crystal clear statements as "But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel" (I Tim. 5:8)?

Let's be clear here: The curse and judgment are not upon the women who have to work in order to feed themselves and their children; the judgment is upon the families who refuse to support them and upon the churches that do not take up the slack. This is not a comfortable doctrine, we'll grant you. But this is what Scripture teaches from start to finish. The strong provide for the weak; the Groom dies for the Bride; the family takes care of its own members; the Church provides for those without family. What else would provoke the lost to look upon Christian families and churches and exclaim, "See how they love one another!" (John 13:34-35 -- see also Gal. 5:13; Eph. 1:15, 4:2 and 5:2; I Thess. 3:12 and 4:9; Phil. 1:5; James 2:8; I Pet. 1:22, 3:8 and 4:8; I John 3:11-18 and 4:20-21)? Love isn't just a warm feeling in our hearts; it is laying down our lives and sacrificing for one another in a real, tangible way. Anyone can do the warm fuzzies; it takes Christlike love by the power of the Holy Spirit to sacrifice our comforts and even our comfort levels to give, give, give to the Body of Christ and expect nothing in return.

So, yes, we are to financially, physically, really support widows and women in need in our families and congregations. This isn't just a cutesy idea to make us feel good about ourselves and our own charity. Far from it! It is the very Gospel we are to live before a lost and dying world. Do we love the lost enough to bear this kind of witness? Do we love the Body of Christ enough to see that its members and their needs are far more important than fancy buildings or multitudinous "programs" that cost thousands of dollars to attract new members? Where is the meat of the Gospel when we spend so much money to make the milk attractive--all the while neglecting the real needs of real people who sit in the pews next to us?

We hope to have many more articles on this topic as time goes on. It is an extremely important one and touches so many other areas that LAF addresses.

Now, as for the "cultlike" dress of the ladies of LAF, we are truly left scratching our heads! Where does this reader find a single picture of a woman dressed the way she describes? In fact, the "shapeless" view of modesty is one we regularly present as foolish. Dressing in a potato sack isn't what God means by being modest, because God also loves femininity. He made it and called it "good!" We are to represent His image as male and female--not hide our femininity under a bushel.

For the record, here are pictures of Mrs. Sherman and myself so that you can see we aren't wearing anything like "cult uniforms" and do not have straggly hair or anything remotely close to "shapeless dresses." Mrs. Sherman and her daughter are wearing lovely mother-daughter outfits they made for a special occasion. I am a sucker for middy outfits (which don't belong to any particular cult of which I am aware!), and that's what my oldest daugther and I are wearing in our picture.


Mrs. Sherman with her daughter, Lillibeth, and grandson, Isaac.

Mrs. Chancey with her two daughters

If you will take the time to read the articles in the Femininity and Modesty section, you will quickly see that we do not have a rules-based "don't do this or you'll go to hell" kind of approach to feminine modesty! Quite the opposite. Women of all shapes, ages, colors, and types can express their femininity in a beautiful variety of ways without breaking God's clear standards for modesty and decency. That's the beauty of God's Word: it isn't about binding burdens on people's backs that are too heavy to carry; it is about freeing us all to obey with joy and gladness!

We sincerely hope that those who visit this site will take the time to read deeply enough to counteract stereotypes. There are no dull, robotic serfs on this end; just ordinary women who enjoy the fact that God loves His creation and calls it "good"--and that we can be a part of showing that creation in the way we live our lives. If, on the other hand, you still feel we are in bondage after you take the time to read LAF, well, lock us up and throw away the key! Beautiful, biblical womanhood is freedom--not slavery. We thank God for the godly men and women who are living the gospel of freedom before the eyes of the world in spite of misunderstanding or stereotyping.

In Christ,
Mrs. Chancey

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