Especially for the Unmarried
Discontented or Impatient?
By Olivia Celeste McEntire
May 24, 2004 - 9:18:00 AM

As I was thinking about being discontented with one’s lot in life at any given time, I realized that the plague of many young people isn’t being discontented, it’s being impatient! While being discontented can and does often play a part in someone being unhappy during his or her single years, impatience is, I believe, also a big contributor to this problem.

Content as defined by Webster’s dictionary is “rest or quietness of the mind in one's present condition; freedom from discontent; satisfaction; contentment; moderate happiness.” I would say that all those things are true of a lot of single people. It isn’t that they are unhappy with where they are. They are content to be with their parents and brothers and sisters, or wherever they may be. It isn’t that they aren’t happy either! They are satisfied with their life and they would say that they are content. But why is there still this restlessness and agitation? I would contribute it to being impatient.

Impatient is defined as “unable to wait patiently or tolerate delay; restless, not bearing with composure, uneasy; fretful; restless, because of delay, eager for change, or for something expected.” That definition seems to describe a problem we face as singles. We just can’t wait patiently for something that we are so eager to see happen, and it creates restlessness within our hearts and minds even while we are content to be at home.

There is a difference between being discontented and being impatient, although being impatient for prolonged periods of time can result in a very discontented life. We are impatient because we trust that eventually we will be married (and most likely we will), but we don’t like waiting for it. Anything worth having is worth waiting for, though, right? And, I might add, it’s worth waiting patiently for.

In this day and age, more often than not we are not made to be patient. Think about it. There is a multitude of ways to get things done quickly: 1-hour film processing, Quick Cash, fast food, fast lane check-out, next-day mail, etc. We tend to get very impatient if we have to wait a little longer than expected even for normal things. So, we reach some magical age, and then we’re ready for marriage. Well, we wake up the next morning, and life goes on (and on, it may seem!) without Mr. or Ms. Right walking in. The problem with this is that the minute we think we’re ready for something is the minute we want it. We don’t want to wait for it.

I think it comes down to what frame of mind we are going to be in. One day we’re totally at rest, then the next day, when we decide that we are ready for marriage, our frame of mind changes and we get impatient. This impatience can be the cause of losing a victory in this area. You have to put yourself in a frame of mind that insists on being patient.

You can work on being patient in many areas--when someone is getting on your nerves, when you’re standing in line, when you’re waiting for the mail to come! When you cultivate being patient in every area of your life, it will be easier to be patient when waiting for your special someone. It will be very difficult to be patient in one area of your life and not in the others.

If we think waiting a couple years for someone is bad, look at these examples: Moses waited more than 40 years from the moment when God spoke to him out of the burning bush to when he actually saw the Promised Land. Noah waited 100+ years before he saw rain, yet he trusted God enough to build the ark during that period. Abraham waited a very long time before he saw his promised son born. David waited a long time between being anointed and actually becoming king. Sometimes it is easy to think that our cases of waiting are unique, and that we’re the only ones. Well, we aren’t. There are people all over waiting for different things to take place.

I believe that the lessons learned during waiting are far more significant than what we learned up to the point of starting to wait. During the time we wait for things, we learn to trust God in ways that we can’t if we aren’t waiting for something that only He can give!

Colossians 1:11 says, “Strengthened with all might, according to his glorious power, unto all patience and longsuffering with joyfulness.” We won’t be able to be patient in our own power. We will need the strengthening of Christ to be able to live a patient life.

The way to keep from being impatient is to keep your mind busy with other things. If you’re standing in line at Wal-Mart at Christmas time and all you let yourself think about is how long it is taking to get through the line, you will naturally become very put out and impatient with the situation. If while you’re standing there you instead think about what you need to do after you leave, what you need to do tomorrow, etc., the time will pass more quickly, because your mind is on something else. Now, concerning keeping busy when your desire is to be married, it’s even easier, because you can actually be doing things (unlike when you’re standing in line at Wal-Mart).

To constantly have your mind on your desire for marriage will do you absolutely no good, but it will contribute to impatience. Spend your time on profitable things. This varies from house to house, or person to person. But you know the things that you can do to keep busy. Do them. Being idle won’t get you anywhere. Sitting around has never brought anything to pass, and it won’t be any different for you. Being busy helps the time to pass faster, and thus it makes it much easier to be patient when waiting.

If we can bring ourselves up to the standard of being patient for the things that we want, we will be much happier--and we won’t find ourselves becoming discontented, which is a complication of impatience.

Romans 12:1b says, “let us run with patience the race that is set before us.” The race that is set before us now is being single. Let us run it with patience!