Homemaking and Other Practical Topics
Having recently read an article on LAF that covered the many issues and challenges facing homemakers living with a chronic illness--including many practical and commonsense solutions and tips--I found myself impressed to contribute my own thoughts upon a similar vein: that of homemaking whilst living with a significant disability (in my instance, a serious vision impairment necessitating the use of adaptive speech technology to read a computer screen and Braille as the medium of choice when reading books).
My Background in Perspective
Before going into detail, let me take a moment to share just a snapshot of my story. Apart from my vision impairment, the account of my youth, family life, and influences that contributed to my outlook as a woman and even as a Christian are little different than the vast majority of my generation. Being your typical "Generation X" child, I was the first to taste the bitter fruit of radical changes in family law implemented during the early 1970s, which, as we all know, led to a gluttonous clamoring for divorce (whose causes and tragic results have already been well documented upon this site). Hence, from the age of seven, I was raised in a single-parent household by my beloved late mother (herself already struggling, in her late thirties, with the early stages of the lung disease which would eventually claim her life at the age of fifty in late 1989).
To her immense credit, she was the icon of thrift and economy, possessing homemaking skills which stood her in good stead in the running of our little household. Though frequently exhausted by her illness, she nonetheless soldiered on, selflessly providing for all our needs. Cooking, sewing, knitting, and gardening were all wondrous skills which we benefited from upon a daily basis. Unlike the habits all too common in the US, cooking from scratch in my country is the norm rather than the exception, so healthy, delicious, and economical meals were always on offer. In the area of sewing and dressmaking, none could beat mum, who was able to whip up a dress and repair and rejuvenate garments which otherwise would have found their way into the rag-bag. In her later years, despite failing health, she used a wonderful talent in the making of lingerie; from panties to the most beautiful camisole and slip sets. Similar praises could be said for her knitting prowess.
In the garden we were never disappointed with regular crops of French beans (Purple king still being my favourite), tomatoes, herbs of every sort, eggplant, pumpkins, and even the experimental patch of broccoli and broad-beans. Rare wild strawberries were a scrumptious treat, as were pomegranates, whose seeds I'd lever out with relish every spring.
As talented as she was, Mum found it almost impossible to pass these skills on to me during my youth. Unable to bear the slowness I'd take in doing a thing, she'd become impatient and would order me out of the kitchen, whereupon she'd finish the task I'd started. In the area of gardening, knitting, and dressmaking the same followed. Thus, upon the disintegration of our little family when her permanent hospitalization became necessary (whilst I was in my final year of high school, around Easter of 1989), these essential skills were sadly lacking. Within our local congregation, none offered to assist in the development of my homemaking skills or even suggested this way of life was the best for us ladies.
In like manner, the area of courting was neglected, leading to a degree of recklessness in my early adulthood. Emotional hurt indeed took its toll. No introductions were ever encouraged by families at church with their young gentlemen; indeed, from the earliest teen years, rejection by the youth was a wholesale affair (my acquaintances at church all being within the adult membership).
Twelve years of transience, lack of direction and an unfulfilled spirit followed with many changes of residence and job, always craving familial belonging and acceptance and, more often than not, remaining painfully isolated and lonely. To cut a long story short, I finally found my way home in my early thirties, several wonderful friends imparting skills (especially in the kitchen) that serve me well to this day. Thanks to their kindness and patience, I am now blessed with a talent for cookery, and, in the four years or so prior to my marriage, became an adept hostess and homekeeper (whilst working part time), making do with little and arranging my modest dwelling beautifully. One final change of address prior to marrying (due to my beloved landlord and landlady no longer able to have a tenant) brought me close to dear friends who would regularly drop in maybe for tea or a more substantial meal. This hospitality provided much joy for all concerned, sharpening my skills for the better.
Becoming a competent hand-spinner of wool, alpaca and even silk through my involvement in a local craft group, I also obtained lessons in compassion, understanding, and Godly womanhood, which were unlearnable through any book. To those dear ladies who became my mentors, I am ever thankful.
During these years, it is with much sadness I share that on the whole, the ladies at church (apart from a few notable exceptions) did not encourage the value of ladies being keepers at home, did little to share their skills and knowledge, and, since the late 1990s, rejected the notion of modest and feminine attire. It is through the example of a dear friend of the Muslim faith that I was prompted to learn what the Bible had to say upon this topic, opening a world of teaching to which I'd rarely if ever been exposed. In this same lady's household, I have also constantly witnessed the wonders of a family who values the sanctity of home and hearth plus the honouring of parents. Their beautiful daughter, now sixteen, is free from the pouting, ugly, silent treatment and disengagement from others all too common amongst teen girls, whilst the three boys, all living at home, revere, love, and respect their mother and father. They may have their moments as do all families, but at the close of the day, it is refreshing to see reflected in them, what once would have been the norm in the Christian home and is sadly almost lost (in this nation, at any rate).
Now married for almost eighteen months to a wonderful husband who respects the place and role of the keeper at home, the skills I've picked up during my adult life have led to the strengthening of character and God-given wisdom which has formed such a vital portion of our relationship. Taking a payout from my place of employment a few years ago, my position, I will admit, is a little better than that which other women face; a blessing for which I am daily thankful. Regardless, attitudes toward ladies who choose home over work are negative in my part of the world.
In my nation, the government is doing all within its power to compel women, whether single or married, out into the workforce in order that the economy be supposedly upheld, a chronic shortage of workers be addressed, and children be institutionally raised--all this from the very same government that, upon being elected into power ten years ago, offered bonuses to married women who chose to stay at home and raise their families. This has created the ridiculous position of both spouses being necessitated to work in order that scandalously expensive child-care bills can be paid rather than the mother raising her own children. Capital and wanton materialism, it would seem, are the order of the day. Vocal Christian denominations are even banging the drum upon this issue, carrying on with their poisonous doctrine of "prosperity Gospel" --yes!--the two cars, luxury home, and material desires of your heart will be filled if you're just faithful enough! This issue alone could take up an entire website, so I'll not go into detail here, as articles on Biblical stewardship upon LAF already fulfill this need admirably. So now let me move on to share my experience as a keeper at home with a disability.
How It's All Done
To the average individual, the concept of someone who cannot rely solely upon their eyesight in order to undertake everyday tasks from the most basic to the most elaborate appears little more than fantasy. Let me explode the myth and state it is not. Tasks both great and small are very doable, indeed.
In the Kitchen:
Above all, order and simplicity are essential if one is to master this realm. Microwave and keypads are labeled in Braille, using clear adhesive tape designed for the purpose, cans are labeled with the magnetic equivalent, and reliance upon appliances (in my case) is kept to a minimum. In fact, the trend for people with a vision impairment to be trained in microwave cookery alone is, in my opinion, a grave mistake. Before the invention of this tool, countless generations of women with vision impairment and blindness successfully managed a stove, learning the layout of this unit intimately and even using pot defusers if necessary to save their hands from a gas flame (I use gas and prefer not to manage it in this way). Scales come either as electronic models which talk to open-faced traditional models with raised and large-print markings side-by-side with the print markings. My faithful quarter cup decants flour, sugar, and much more for home baking. Hand-mixing alleviates having to learn yet another appliance, and a reliance upon cooking from scratch removes the need to read the back of a packet. Many wonderful cookbooks are available in large print, Braille, in Audio format, and now, with the advent of the Internet, site after site provides endless recipes to keep you cooking for decades.
In the instance where a sugar thermometer may be called for (such as in the making of jam and marmalade), I simply do not worry, using the crinkle method for testing my mix. Instead of trying to cut wafer-thin slices of fruit, I rather remove the zest with a zester (protecting the hand holding the fruit with a glove or towel, as when it slips, the results can be very painful indeed). Fruit is then squeezed, its juice being filtered through a strainer to catch pips, and all pulp is then wrapped in muslin, which is placed into the pot wherein the peel was zested directly. This is almost covered with water and left to soak overnight. Next day it's boiled for two hours or so and left again (water topped up if necessary). Day three calls for the removal of the pulp bag (its goodness long since spent) the simmering of the mixture (which one is well able to hear), followed by the addition of sugar. This is then boiled till the right consistency is gained (using the crinkle method). To ensure good results, I go to the extreme of not only well cooling the saucer in the freezer beforehand, but also placing the sample back in the freezer for a few minutes.
Any confection or jam maker will know the dangers inherent when handling boiling sugar. To avoid accidents, all decanting is done in the sink. Firstly, a measuring jug is filled from the saucepan. Then a foil collar is made which can be placed in the neck of the jar. This enables pouring of the hot mixture with much less spillage--all processes being done in the sink. Sound will give an indication of how full the jar is, as will careful removal of the foil funnel and a VERY CAUTIOUS touch. My marmalade has successfully been exhibited in local agricultural shows with satisfying results.
Boiled fruitcake is likewise easy to make, butters being measurable by cutting, cup measurements being used for fruit, tablespoons for syrup, and so on. The whole lot can be boiled up in the pot, whereupon the cake can be mixed directly the following day (I've left it for a week on the stove in the past, and, contrary to what one may expect, the results were brilliant, leading to the blackest, richest Christmas cake imaginable--a tradition I've fallen into over the last few years with my family). The same goes for fruit-mince--a batch of such just being laid up this morning for use later on around Christmas.
Cutting with sharp knives is safe if one is given sound instruction on their handling. Contrary to belief, a sharp knife is safer than a blunt one, as it is less likely to slip, and, in the event one does cut oneself, the cut is cleaner and easier to treat than a jagged rip from a blunt utensil. Pinching the fingers of the hand together that is holding the food to be sliced, holding them vertically with the thumb well out of the way behind them (a technique used by chefs worldwide) minimizes accidents. Similar goes for the prevention of slippage of one's chopping board).
Did You Know?
The safety pin and humble potato peeler started their lives as tools specifically invented to assist the blind? It's true. The same goes for the typewriter. How many older ladies out there learned to touch-type where one was prohibited to look at the fingers or keyboard, smocks and mats being placed over them to eliminate "cheating?" This skill was developed for us folks with a vision impairment to offer a way of producing the written word for our sighted fellows.
In the Laundry:
As in the kitchen, a few simple adoptions can take the fuss out of laundry. Simple Braille, tactile, or large print markings make using the washing machine and drier easy. If one's sight is too poor to allow the detection of light or dark articles, colour tags and labels are available. Sock clips keep these from becoming separated and are a dime a dozen. Ironing on the whole is also easy if one straightens out the article first and stops to feel what's been done along the way.
Even sewing is possible! Though I cannot sew, machines adapted for use by people with a range of disabilities are available, and I know ladies personally who have no sight whatsoever who both are competent sewers--one even teaching home economics to sighted youth. The other lady is herself an inspiration, battling deafblindness and cerebral palsy to both sew and knit, bringing joy to herself, her family and friends, plus others resident in the hostel where she lives.
Early last century, a girl named Helen Schultz lost her sight at two and her hearing at eight. Nonetheless managing to be educated in a mainstream school, upon the death of her mother, she attended a school for the blind for one year before coming to live in the home of her teacher. There she learned to become a competent homemaker, eventually marrying this teacher's nephew.
Cleaning and housekeeping are all possible, and, to ensure everything is up to speed, I hire help once a fortnight from a lady who herself assists several families, enabling her to control her own time and be there for her two daughters when they come home from school, over holidays, and provide the family environment so many lack today.
In closing, I have been thoroughly blessed in my life to encounter the inspiring ladies who have imparted these skills and talents in me; through God's kind provision, helping me aspire to be the lady He wants me to be.
Finally, let us take to heart these words of wisdom written by Mrs Isabella Beaton in her book of Household Management over 150 years ago. They are truer today than ever before:
Of the manner of passing evenings at home, there is none pleasanter than in such recreative enjoyments as those which relax the mind from its severer duties, whilst they stimulate it with a gentle delight. Where there are young people forming a part of the evening circle, interesting and agreeable pastime should especially be promoted. It is of incalculable benefit to them that their homes should possess all the attractions of healthful amusement, comfort, and happiness; for if they do not find pleasure there, they will seek it elsewhere. It ought, therefore, to enter into the domestic policy of every parent, to make her children feel that home is the happiest place in the world; that to imbue them with this delicious home-feeling is one of the choicest gifts a parent can bestow. [Note: remember, this was before television, radio, the Internet, and video-games, when creative amusements and boardgames plus good old conversation occupied the mind.] Light or fancy needlework often forms a portion of the evening's recreation for the ladies of the household, and this may be varied by an occasional game at chess or backgammon. It has often been remarked, too, that nothing is more delightful to the feminine members of a family, than the reading aloud of some good standard work or amusing publication. A knowledge of polite literature may be thus obtained by the whole family, especially if the reader is able and willing to explain the more difficult passages of the book, and expatiate on the wisdom and beauties it may contain. She ought always to remember that she is the first and the last, the Alpha and the Omega in the government of her establishment; and that it is by her conduct that its whole internal policy is regulated. She is, therefore, a person of far more importance in a community than she usually thinks she is. On her pattern her daughters model themselves; by her counsels they are directed; through her virtues all are honoured; "her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband, also, and he praiseth her." Therefore, let each mistress always remember her responsible position, never approving a mean action, nor speaking an unrefined word. Let her prove herself, then, the happy companion of man, and able to take unto herself the praises of the pious prelate, Jeremy Taylor, who says, "A good wife is Heaven's last best gift to man, his angel and minister of graces innumerable, his gem of many virtues, his casket of jewels--her voice is sweet music, her smiles his brightest day." (from pp48-50)
Mrs. Elliot writes from her home in Australia, where she delightedly serves her family.
© Copyright 2002-2008 by LAF/BeautifulWomanhood.org
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