How to Get Back Home
Tips for Returning Home Part V: How it Actually Happened, and Lessons Learned
By Mrs. Wanda Jefferson
Oct 8, 2004 - 10:50:00 PM

I was blessed to have the opportunity, some months ago, to publish a series of articles with Ladies Against Feminism about how women contemplating an exit from the full-time workforce could prepare themselves. As I was writing those articles, I was in fact making those same preparations myself.

After three years spent in a very demanding job, I knew it was time to come home. I was very tired of the long hours, lack of time spent with my husband, and the stress and toll it was taking on my body. My husband was also seeking a way to devote more time to family--specifically, a way to care for his aging father, a widower living alone in city many hours away. After much prayer and discussion, we decided to start our own company incorporating two home-based businesses: my freelance writing career and his medical equipment sales business.

After six months of planning, budgeting, and saving money, we were able to realize our dream. We moved to my husband’s hometown, and set up our offices in his childhood home. This allows us to keep a close eye on my father-in-law and to reduce expenses. We were blessed by a contract with my former employer to allow me to work from home to provide for some of our income, and my husband has been hard at work building his business. Everything seemed, on the surface, to be set. However, to be honest, it has certainly not been easy - nor is it the "homecoming" I had imagined!

I have learned much about being content, being a helper, and being a follower in these last few months--and I have much more learning to do. Working with my husband, living with my father-in-law, and moving to an unfamiliar city have presented challenges. I have had to learn to trust my husband, and trust in the Lord, that we will be provided for--even when I am unsure where that provision will come from. I have had to learn to hold my tongue and pray for strength, when discussing business and household matters with my husband. A home-based, family-owned business presents wonderful opportunities, but it also brings many sources of potential conflict. I am learning to prayerfully bring my concerns to God, instead of weighing them on my husband.

It is also very difficult to start a business from scratch, as my husband and I are learning. Sometimes, I admit now with shame, I have doubted my husband’s leadership and abilities and even questioned his desire to provide when his working habits were not the same as mine. (I work for a long time with many breaks, he works intensely for short periods of time.) After much prayer and consultation, I realized how I was putting even more of a burden on my husband than he already had. God has blessed me with a very loving and forgiving husband, but I am still ashamed of my actions.

I have learned about waiting--waiting for God to provide us with security, waiting for answers, and even waiting for a family. While we have been trying to conceive for almost a year, God’s perfect timing is probably just "not yet!"

Finally, I have learned about the foolishness of manmade ideals and expectations. My expectations of a homecoming filled with ample time for crafts, cooking, and homemaking have been replaced with a new, more pleasant reality--that spent in hard work with my husband as we strive towards a common goal, with him as the leader. In truth, I probably work more hours now (albeit in our home) than I did while in a corporate job--between housework, helping my husband with his business, and with my own writing. My father-in-law, bless his heart, has taken over evening meal preparations and does a wonderful job--and he feels exceedingly useful! God is good.

In short, God has answered many prayers with His own version of my homecoming, though it is not the version I imagined so many months ago when I wrote my first four articles in this series. I have received one blessing I did not expect at all--a wonderful church home filled with friends. Even better - my husband attends with me. While he is still not a Christian, having him enthusiastically join me in church is a blessing I could not have imagined six months ago.

I have also been blessed with an opportunity to forge a stronger relationship with my husband and a stronger faith in God. The road has been hard, and is unlikely to become easy any time soon, but I am learning, and I am finally where I belong: home.

The Painter's Honeymoon by Frederick Leighton