I want to start off by saying that many Christian families have their children in public school. What their exact situations are and the reasons for doing this are not things I wish to judge. What I want to share is my personal experience with public school in order that parents who are either on the fence about the issue or who think it's harmless, might have another vantage point to consider. This is also dedicated to homeschoolers who might be "growing weary in well-doing" and for those being homeschooled who think the grass is greener on the other side.

One argument I hear from parents is that we need to have children in the public school to be salt and light. I think my experience will show that it is nearly impossible to expect a young child to be a missionary, and the result is rather the opposite--the system becomes the corrupting factor.

I was a public school kid from start to finish. I went from preschool through high school in the 1970s and 1980s. At this time, in our area, homeschooling was unheard of. We had one local Christian school that charged tuition to attend. My experience in public school was nothing short of traumatic for most of those years. I am 37 years old today and still fight nightmares of it all. Thankfully, because of the grace of God, I can walk in victory despite the devastating years of being influenced by godless people and a godless system.

Unfortunately, my parents did not know they had options for me and sent me off to public school because they paid taxes and that is what everyone did. Today, my mother sees the great damage that was done and feels much sorrow and regret that they didn't do things differently. The pain, rebellion, and heartache that followed might have been less, if not entirely eliminated. I want to talk about two different areas that were affected by my attending public school: the educational aspect and the social aspect.

Educational

I learned precious little in school. The education I received was so inferior that as an adult I am still trying to learn things I should have learned in 6th grade. Classes were so full that I never received help in things I did not understand. I learned to pass tests by memorizing things a few days before, but I never really learned the actual material. Behavior of children in classrooms was usually the focus--not education. Getting written up for gum chewing (a minor offense today) and being sent to the principal's office for talking and throwing paper were constant sources of time disruption. Teachers were more like babysitters than educators. I found it extremely difficult to concentrate on learning because of needing to protect myself from bullies and protecting my personal belongings.

Though I am certain many of my teachers meant well and tried their best, I don't feel that learning the subject material was ever the goal. I think the goal was to pass tests and get moved up to the next grade level. Learning is something I truly love as an adult. That love for learning has come from homeschooling families with whom I fellowship. As a child, learning in school was a drudgery and a joyless task. The only person who every understood my learning style, my personality, my spirit and heart was my own mother.

Social

There is so much I can say on this aspect, but the devasatation began at age 5 with being separated from my mother daily for 6-7 hours. I just want to say that even though my mother was a stay-at-home mom, I still felt horribly insecure being sent away to an "institution" daily. Yes, it was somewhat comforting to know she was at home, but I wasn't there with her, and I never got used to that. I felt abandoned into an environment that had no vested interest in my spiritual life, educational interests, and overall well-being. In my early elementary years I was teased and mercilessly pursued by bullying girls and boys. I learned that to survive this, you had to become popular and pretty.

Every day in junior high I pursued beauty and was able to pull it off for a while...with the right clothes, hair, and makeup. I ran with the cheerleaders and had football boyfriends. My first boyfriend train wrecked me for years to come. He provided glorious attention and stole my heart only to trample and shatter it later by dumping me for the next cute girl. I continued through college on this date/dump cycle, my heart continuously defrauded by the next knight in shining armour. Where was God in all this? He was still on His throne, but I had walked out on my Christian upbringing. I had attended church, Sunday school, and youth group; however, my unconverted heart clung tightly to my sinful lifestyle in school. I had too much at stake to try to be a Christian at school. The friends I had in school consisted of liars, cheaters, thieves, addicts, and fornicators. Graduation day from high school for me was like getting out of prison. I never realized much educational achievement, but I was thrilled that I had merely survived the whole experience and was finally free.

Today

Many might say they had no issues with public school. That might be true. However, I know many stories like my own. I hear people argue against homeschooling because they think children need "socialization." Well, may I say that socialization is what shattered my young heart to pieces. I hope my testimony will help people think through the issue of schooling and realize it is much more than education...it is the spirit of your child at stake.


The Blackboard by Winslow Homer

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