Responsible Manhood
A Boy-Friendly School
By Larry Arnold
Nov 4, 2004 - 9:20:00 PM

You would think that the article was a propaganda piece for homeschooling boys. But it wasn’t. It was the front page story for the May 26, 2003, issue of BusinessWeek , the business world equivalent of Newsweek.

Titled “The New Gender Gap,” the article addresses the issue of “Why boys are falling behind girls, in education—and what it means for the economy, business, and society.” The article states, “From his first days in school, an average boy is already developmentally two years behind the girls in reading and writing. Yet he’s often expected to learn the same things in the same way in the same amount of time. While every nerve in his body tells him to run, he has to sit still and listen for almost eight hours a day. Biologically, he needs about four recesses a day, but he’s lucky if he gets one. . . . If he falls behind, he’s apt to be shipped off to special ed, where he’ll find that more than 70% of his classmates are also boys. Squirm, clown, or interrupt, and he is four times as likely to be diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. That often leads to being forced to take Ritalin or being expelled, sent to special ed, or having parents accused of negligence.”

The statistics in the article are alarming: boys are 30% more likely never to graduate, 85% more likely to commit murder, and 4-6 times more likely to commit suicide. A study found that “20% of upper-middle-class white boys were taking Ritalin-like drugs by fifth grade” and that Ritalin use “has increased 500% in the past decade, leading some to call it the new K-12 management tool.” Whereas up to just a few years ago colleges were dominated by men, now for every 100 men, 133 women graduate from college, and that number is expected to grow to 156 women per 100 men.

The article was written to address the potential problems that will hit the workplace as a result of the inability of our public school system to educate 50% of its students simply because they are boys. It all began 30 years ago when educators launched “Girl Project” to build the self-esteem of girls and make classrooms more girl-friendly. As I read the article, I wondered how any parent could send a boy off to a female-dominated education system that some describe as a “boy-bashing” laboratory.

The advantages of homeschooling sons seem so obvious. At home, a boy can take many exercise-play breaks to burn off the excess energy that accumulates during lessons. He can learn with a curriculum, setting, and schedule that suit his abilities and limitations. Most of all, he is blessed with parent-teachers who love him and know him well. These teachers have the freedom to accommodate his uniqueness and masculinity. They are not hampered by the constraints forced upon classroom teachers.

Yes, homeschoolers have all the advantages, but do we have any guarantee of success? Are we at risk from the same traps that the government-run group school system has fallen into? Absolutely! In the overwhelming majority of homeschools, all or nearly all of the teaching is done by the mother. No matter how wonderful a woman she might be, she has never been a godly man. She will never understand what it means to be a little boy and what he goes through to become a man. Yet, homeschooling is primarily a woman’s domain. The ladies do most of the instructing, they read most of the books on home education and family life, and they attend most of the homeschool conferences. Sadly, for the most part, we fathers have taken a backseat and let our wives do the driving.

The problem is not easy to fix. After all, somebody has to be the breadwinner for the family, and few jobs or careers are family and child-friendly. Earning a living is time-consuming and energy-zapping; it leaves comparatively little time for being Dad. But there are some solutions. As technology dominates more of the workplace and energy use becomes more restricted, at-home businesses and offices will become preferred options. Perhaps God can use some of us to encourage more family-friendly career paths. We also have it within our power to train our boys to consider the demands of fathering when they choose a livelihood.

In the meantime, men, let us turn our hearts toward home (Malachi 4:6) and consider what it means to raise boys. Let’s become informed about our homeschool and participate as we can. Even if we can’t teach specific subjects, we can guide our wives in setting long-term educational and character goals for the children. We should determine how we can instruct our children in the Bible, lead in prayer, and bring our children up in the “discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). Our highest priorities should include being involved in our children’s activities, such as sports, music, 4-H, etc.

Although we should appreciate the wonderful work and help we get from our wives, we cannot use it to excuse our neglect of God’s calling on our lives. With years of masculinity to our credit, we should be the experts on raising boys and guiding them in what it means to be godly men. As another fringe benefit of being men, we have inside information for our daughters on what it means to be a godly helpmeet. What better way is there to close the “Gender Gap?”