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Responsible Manhood

Men Working: A Tract to My Fellow Men
By Aiden J. Humphrey
Jun 21, 2003 - 12:56:00 AM

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What does the following Bible passage describe, and what led up to it?

Unto the woman He said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. And unto Adam He said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, 'Thou shalt not eat of it': cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life; Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field; In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.

The Curse

This is the famous passage, Genesis 3:16-19, where God cursed both Adam and Eve for listening to and obeying the voice of Satan in the Garden of Eden. God cursed both Adam and Eve for their sin. Each one got their own curse. Eve was cursed with great sorrow in bringing forth children, and the ground was cursed for Adam's sake. He had to work by the sweat of his brow just to make a living.

His Curse, Her Curse

Eve had her curse, and Adam had his curse. To this day, even though we have invented all sorts of machines and technology, we still spend the majority of our lives working. We die younger than women, and we also have higher stress than women, and, traditionally, we have been the breadwinners. This relationship between the stress and curse of the working world and the toll it takes on our bodies is no coincidence. This is an ancient curse upon the men.

The Double Curse: Borne by Working Mothers

Lately, Science has noticed a startling change in women's health, as more and more women are coming down with the stress-related diseases that typically only afflicted the breadwinners of our society. This is because more and more women find themselves working. In effect, today, women have the double curse; the pain of bringing forth children and the stress and toil of trying to put food on the table. My fellow men, this is not right.

The Triple Curse: Borne by All the Workers

As more and more women enter the labor pool, labor becomes a cheaper and cheaper commodity; hence wages fall, and everyone must work more hours to get the same pay. Thus, there is a triple curse that comes upon the families which live in a society where men and women confuse their God-given gender roles.

Remember, who was to provide bread by the sweat of his brow? Adam. God's curse assumed that Adam was the breadwinner. Who did God charge to bring forth children? Adam or Eve? Eve was to bring forth children, and to live under the authority of her husband. Men, we need to return to our role as the breadwinner.

The Fourfold-Curse: Borne by Broken Homes

As more and more of our wives leave the protection of our authority, they spend their days and their strength under the authority of other men, and a fourth curse on marriages begins to take its toll. There is a special kind of fulfillment that God has provided for women who support their husband's mission in life. When a woman truly respects her husband's God-given authority, something wonderful becomes possible. The man detects her respect, and often, even if he is not a Christian, will respond with deep, gentle, protective love towards her.

Her “other husband”

Yet we've sent our wives to work for a male boss, where she'll support that man in his mission to be successful; just as God intended in the marriage relationship. She stays and works under his authority, just as God intended in the marriage relationship. To whom is she more of a wife? Her “work husband” or her “house” husband? Tragically, the woman is often much closer to her role as a wife in her relationship with her “work husband” than she is with her husband at home. Men, if you have a wife, you are a covering and a protection to her; not some other man at work.

Is it any wonder that a working wife could find herself experiencing wifely feelings towards her male boss? Is it any wonder that he could be tempted to look upon her as more than just an employee, more than just a friend? Certainly! It happens all the time. She fills the God-given role of a wife to him; she makes him successful. He detects in her a respect for his position; perhaps she even admires him despite herself. He responds with special feelings of protectiveness over her.

Men, our wives were designed to support our success in life; but instead, she supports her boss's success in life.

Honey, I'm home!

Then she comes home, tired from the curse of the work world, to find you tired from the same curse and in need of your wife, and your children in need of a mother. You need more than just a pretty face to look at; you have an ancient need for your Eve; your other half. And your children have their God-given need for their mother.

The Worst of Times, and the Best of Times: A Tale of Two “Homes”

Men, let me warn you about the employer of our day. If you send your wife to work, she may come home one day and look at you in a different light. She sees You and your children at the end of your day, every day, when you are tired, hungry, and not looking your best. The work family gets the best part of the day. The home family gets the leftovers. The work family gets all the energy; the home family gets left overs. The work family celebrates her birthday; she brings home a card, flowers and leftover cake... what did you do for her birthday? The work family recognizes her achievements at the staff meeting. She gets professional recognition. How do you compare? The work family offers her advancement. The home family? Maybe you work outdoors all day and come home dirty. Her work husband wears a shirt and tie; perhaps even a suit. Do you know how her “work husband” keeps the workplace? He probably keeps it maintained by a professional cleaning service. What does the house look like when she gets home? How does she feel about this? You're so tired from a day's work that you put off the leaky sink until the weekend. Her “work husband” may be a very powerful man; able with a single command to fix a situation. He can offer her more than just money, he can provide for the welfare of her and her children with health insurance, and other benefits. You may not have that kind of a job anymore. You may feel fortunate to keep food on the table.

Two Masters: Which Will She Choose?

Men, financial pressure is a tough thing, but when you send your wife out into the world, you need to be aware of the fact that you are putting your wife in a difficult situation.

Luke 16:13: No servant can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other.

She only has so much time and energy in a given day. Is it any wonder that women across our nation are opting out of their home families? How can they give their best to both families? Something has to give; and even if she would never consciously make such a choice, unconsciously, she is pulled towards one family or the other. More and more often, it is the home family that suffers, while the woman lavishes more and more of her time on her work family. Men, we are responsible for this. Our children are suffering because of the pressure that we put on our wives to leave their families behind and go to work. We must return to the helm of this culture and change course.

When you mix the original two curses, they multiply against each other; two curses turn to four; four turn to eight. Society disintegrates and becomes sick and more and more children grow up with no one at home, raised by the state; strangers to what a real family is all about. These children grow up without an understanding of what the society needs to remain intact. The laws they pass, the products they sell, the movies they choose; the culture they create is a degraded culture; and each generation will only further degrade, for the core of the culture; the Biblical home – is missing.

In some situations, the man doesn't work at all, but stays home, while his wife works. This is the most reversed and cursed of all scenarios and carries with it a terrible fate, which is to be avoided at all costs. When a man won't provide for his family, he forfeits his relationship with God and is hellbound: 1Timothy 5:8, "But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel."

The Cure for the Curse: Men Working!

Men, any job at all is better than no job at all. Even if the only thing you can get is an hour cleaning out someone's gutters, that job is to be taken immediately! God will reward the man who is diligent with more opportunity to work later on. In the meantime, take anything that you can get. Listen carefully to the words of the Holy Spirit on this subject:

2Thessalonians 3:10, "For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat. 11 For we hear that there are some which walk among you disorderly, working not at all, but are busybodies. 12 Now them that are such we command and exhort by our Lord Jesus Christ, that with quietness they work, and eat their own bread. 13 But ye, brethren, be not weary in well doing. 14 And if any man obey not our word by this epistle, note that man, and have no company with him, that he may be ashamed. 15 Yet count him not as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother."

Men, you must work.

You are accountable to God for the condition of your homes. God placed you in authority over your homes. With the authority comes resonsibility. You will have to render an account to God for the things to which you exposed your families. Did you expose your wife to the man's curse? Did you expose your children to an empty home? Repent of this. If she can get a job, so can you. And she can quit her job just as soon as you purpose in your mind to serve the Lord. God will provide for the soul that puts its trust in Him.

Men, Let's get Working!

Aiden is a minister in Florence, Oregon. He welcomes your feedback at

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