In one simple statement, I would have to say that I do not know where I would be today if it weren’t for the love of the amazing man I call my husband.   His love, kindness and devotion have been the foundation of this family. God has bestowed many blessings on our family, but my husband is the largest blessing that we could ever have desired.

I met Scott Alan Varney as a SSgt in the Air Force.  He was, upon reflection, the most unique man I had ever met. While at work he was an incredibly detailed and organized man, working hard at every task set before him.  He set about  to gain the respect of others around him.  He was a man with a tremendous heart for children and family, and I easily fell in love with him.  After we were married, the Air Force called him to Bosnia for a short period of time.  While there, he had the opportunity to visit with some of the children orphaned because of the war in their country.  He spent time playing with them, bringing them “special” treats like peanut butter, which most of them had never had before. It thrilled his heart to spend time with these children.  It was one of the highlights of his tour there. 

As we started having children of our own, he became very active in their upbringing.  His great desire is that his children will grow to love the Lord, and both appreciate the blessings that are bestowed on us  and share these blessings with those less fortunate than ourselves. From the time the boys were old enough to understand, he spoke to them about giving to others. The boys, from a very early age, started giving coins to charity, following the example of their dad. Several years ago, Scott discovered Relay for Life.  He involved the whole family in that, and even our youngest took great care to walk as many laps as he could to raise money for the cause.  Scott’s leadership in this area of our lives has had such an impact.  

Scott has always looked to provide for the needs of others before he considers himself.  Years ago, when my parents were in a terrible accident in another part of the country, Scott took what money he had in his savings to bring my grandmother to visit my parents. He helped with the funds so that she could be there.  He made sure that she was taken care of and provided for the duration of her stay.  It alleviated my concerns and hers, enabling us  to focus our time on the matters at hand with my parents.

But Scott is like this.  Time after time, he places the needs of others above himself – without complaint. He performs his daily duties of providing for his family with no expectation of reward.  He goes above and beyond what is expected of him.  He will work the extra hours in order than another with a need will have the time off.  He is a leader who serves those who are under him.  One instance that happened recently comes to mind.  A young man that works under Scott, has a three-year-old daughter that was diagnosed with a form of childhood leukemia .  She was waiting on a bone marrow procedure, and they just weren’t sure she was going to make it through.  Her father raises horses, and the little girl adores a particular type of horse, so her parents were trying to find a figurine of one like it.  The store my husband runs used to carry it, but they had been discontinued.  Scott contacted his corporate headquarters and was able to pull some strings to get a copy of this particular horse for the man’s daughter.  Scott told me that he knew he couldn’t do much, but at least he could try to do something.

Not only this, but he is a true gentleman when it comes to his dealings with women, both in the public and private arena.  In his job as a manager, he has always made it a point not to let a woman close the store alone, or if there was extremely physical work that needed to be done, he would make sure that one of the male employees was on shift to help out.  It took me many years to understand my husband in this matter, but it has given me an even greater appreciation for him.  For a long time I clung to the idea that if a woman was hired for a job, she should not only be willing, but able to do all the aspects of that particular job, regardless of the physical aspect of it.  At one point, my husband explained to me that, although he may agree with that in concept, who he is as a man and what he believes in would not allow it.  He has always opened doors for women and treated them courteously and that has poured over into his workplace manner.

He has always and will always give deference to women in this way, not because he feels they are inferior or incapable, but because he believes that men are to protect and care for women. He wants to provide a good example to those men that work under him as well.   Being a former feminist, this initially rubbed me the wrong way, but as I have grown in my walk with the Lord I have become grateful to have a husband that believes this way.  Our daughter, too, has flourished under his love and care.  He is helping her to understand that the role God has given to  women is a beautiful, precious and much-needed role. This is missing in so many young girls’ lives, and I am thankful that my husband has made this a priority in our family.

This past year, Scott had a serious issue with one of his eyes, a retinal detachment, and due to a new career position that took him away from the family for a few months , he had to go through the operation without us.  I was so concerned for him and waited on pins and needles for him to come out of surgery.  When he was finally able to call me, his first thoughts were of  the children and me and how we were dealing with everything.  Words cannot even do justice to explain this incredible man that I am married to.

 As a little girl, I always thought I wanted a knight in shining armor to come and carry me away.  As I have grown in wisdom and maturity, I have come to realize that I do not want, nor need a knight in shining armor, at least not in the fairy tale sense.  He would not be real.  I am thankful to God every day that He has given me a real man to love, one who would lay down his life for me and does so on a daily basis , whether it is rising early before the family is awake to clear the ice and snow off the car and go off to work, or coming home after a physically hard day and still making time to take the children to the park to toss around the ball with the boys, or taking time to have a special “date night” with me just to show me he still likes to spend time with just me, even when perhaps he should instead take the time to get extra rest   from a hard week. He is continuously thinking of what would be in the best interest of the family, even though at times I do not see or understand his wisdom.

Where I would be without this man is completely unknown to me.  He has put up with so much as I made my trek away from feminism. He has shown such great patience and love, beyond anything I could have hoped for or imagined.  Although he is a man of few words, he has managed through his patient and loving actions, to show me more of Christ than all the words I could think to use.  He has been a silent strength in our lives, the steadfast rock that we all have come to rely on.  The incredible man who, regardless of my constant need for forgiveness, loves me right where I am and has extended grace to me beyond measure.  He is, of course, a sinful human, as we all are, and is the first to admit his weakness.  However, he continues to walk with the Lord and presses on.  He is a perfect complement to me,  and I am forever grateful to a loving God who would bestow such a gift to me in him.

Scott is a very humble man and definitely not the one to proclaim any of these things about himself to the world. It is also this that I admire in him. But I wanted to take this opportunity to publicly praise him for what he has done and who he is. His attitude about most of what he does is that it is nothing special, nothing noteworthy, just his duty in the normal course of life.  He is a true gentleman, and an exemplary model of Christian manhood.  I am glad to have him as father to our children, husband, and leader of our home.  May God bless him for his faithfulness and devotion.