Someone has to Worry about Money

Posted By on February 1, 2014

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In Mrs. Helen Andelin’s excellent book, All About Raising Children, she wrote a chapter about teaching money values to children.  Since many women nowadays may not have learned about money values when they were girls, many wives and mothers may benefit from what Mrs. Andelin has to say about the subject “I Don’t Have to Worry About Money” under the heading “Wrong Attitudes About Money.”  The following three paragraphs are quoted from page 295 of All About Raising Children by Mrs. Helen Andelin and are quoted with her permission:

I Don’t Have to Worry About Money: These people are content with a job sufficient to supply the financial needs of the day, but do not extend their concern to future needs or unexpected emergencies which might arise.  They feel that somehow, someway, when the time comes, things will work out.  They will “cross that bridge when the come to it.”  If they can’t make it, they reason, someone will come to their rescue, a charitable institution, the government, a relative or someone who really cares about them and will not let them down.

“There is a strong element of selfishness running through this pattern of thinking, and a marked failure to take responsibility for one’s own financial needs.  This lack of concern for obligations causes people to become careless, extravagant and unwilling to sacrifice for the security of the future.  They invariably end up leaning on someone else to solve their financial woes.

“These people need to realize that someone must worry about their financial problems.  There is no one more responsible to do so than themselves.  They need to assume full responsibility for these obligations and not depend upon others.  When they assume this concern, their thinking changes and they begin to build security.”

The “I don’t have to worry about money” attitude may be present in the round-the-clock wife and mother (a.k.a. homemaker) whose husband handles the family’s finances.  The wife may not worry at all about money because her husband protects her from worry, though she may be guilty of living above his means, being careless with money, extravagant spending, and thoughtlessness about saving for the future.  Her husband may be hesitant to speak with her about this and choose to incur debt to keep his beloved wife living in the manner in which she is accustomed.  But there will come a day of reckoning from living this way, and when the husband has no choice but to speak to the wife about it, she may well not be able to understand the seriousness of the situation, for she’s not had to worry about it and is used to her husband “taking care of things” without her.  Her husband may be so frustrated from worrying about finances that he may blame her for the whole financial crisis, which in turn leads to many arguments and hurt feelings while doing nothing to remedy the situation, only damaging the marriage.

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In all actuality, the fault lies with both the husband and wife in the type of situation in the paragraph above.  They have both been “blinded by love,” the husband because he has not seen the seriousness of where the finances were heading by trying to keep his wife happy, and the wife because she has failed to see or learn of their family financial situation beforehand, or, if she has, she hasn’t worried about it or changing her spending habits because her husband has always protected her from worry, taken excellent care of the family, and never let them do without or suffer from a lack of luxurious living.  The husband and wife have been like the blind leading the blind, but when the blind lead the blind, they both most often end up in a ditch.

Family finances must be taken seriously by a godly and fascinating wife, mother, and homemaker.  Financial worries can cause a man to break – his pride, his mind, his heart, and his will to even live or go on.  Finances have caused many men’s heart attacks and suicides.  Financial woes and worries have damaged many marriages and families.  Many women can’t understand these things, but we must try, for it is of the utmost importance.  This is not saying that women should handle the family’s finances, i.e. paying the bills, bringing in an income, etc. but that women seeking to be godly wives must not send their husbands, themselves, or their marriages to an early grave from financial stress.

Please visit my blog to read Part Two and Part Three in this series. Part Two contains information on how to help one’s husband financially for the newly married wife or fiance’ and or the wife whose family has just come out of debt through a settlement, inheritance, bankruptcy or some other similar fashion will be written of. Part Three is for the wife whose family is in a financial crisis and includes a very encouraging link to a piece of classic literature on this subject.

Recommended Resources
Making Sense of Your Dollars: A Biblical Approach to Wealth
Lower Your Taxes Big Time 2013-2014 5/E (Lower Your Taxes-Big Time)
Your Money Map: A Proven 7-Step Guide to True Financial Freedom
The S.A.L.T. Plan

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About The Author

Hi! Thank you for visiting my profile. I am Mrs. Wayne (Nikki) Hunter. I am married to a retired U.S. soldier and small business owner, the momma of several (double digits) beautiful children ranging in age from twenty-two to two, and a homemaker. I have a blog/website titled "The Wonderful World of Womanhood".

Comments

7 Responses to “Someone has to Worry about Money”

  1. KimberlyEddy says:

    That was excellent! I don’t think we should worry (as in being fearful or obsessive) about money — per Jesus’ instructions in Matthew 6, but at the same time, it’s so important to know where the money is coming from and going to, so we can be better wiser managers of it.

  2. Thank you, Kimberly!

    Sincerely,
    Mrs. Wayne Hunter

  3. Eliza says:

    While I thoroughly agree with this standpoint, I’m also curious about what you would advise in a scenario where the roles have been reversed. That is, if the man is not handling the finances responsibly, if at all, what should a biblically minded wife do?

  4. Thank you for this question, Eliza.

    The first thing I would suggest is for the wife to read and apply the teachings of the book Fascinating Womanhood by Mrs. Helen Andelin. If she has read the book in the past, she should re-read and re-apply the teachings. In doing this she will likely remedy this situation. I have taught on this subject for years and haven’t had a single student, that I can recall, not have success in approaching her husband on the teachings of finance in the book. This book is available at all major booksellers for under $20.00. The latest edition is from 2007.

    Sincerely,
    Mrs. Wayne Hunter

  5. Abbysmom says:

    Mrs. Wayne (Nikki) Hunter wrote:

    “Financial worries can cause a man to break – his pride, his mind, his heart, and his will to even live or go on. Finances have caused many men’s heart attacks and suicides. Financial woes and worries have damaged many marriages and families. Many women can’t understand these things, but we must try, for it is of the utmost importance. ”

    Could you please clarify what you mean by “these things”?

    If you mean that some women can’t fully understand how financial worries can affect a man, but a woman must try her best to see financial worries from her husband’s point of view, I concur.

    But if you mean that many women are incapable of understanding the basics of family finances, such as:

    * how much money comes in and where it is spent each month
    * the family’s long-term and short-term financial goals
    * investments and 401(k) plans
    * balancing a checking account, online banking, and bill paying
    * how much we pay in taxes and how to file income tax returns

    I respectfully disagree. None of these things are that difficult. You can easily learn them from a husband who is willing to teach you, a personal finance class at a community college, or educating yourself online.

    Also, a wife is her husband’s helpmeet, right? What if her husband requests that she pay the monthly bills? Personally, I see nothing wrong with this.

  6. LAF Editor says:

    The author is referring to stress not capability. The recommended resources at the end of the article compliment your suggestions on how a woman can offer help with money management. Also, click thru the Lovely in post graphic to find a money management system downloadable from Etsy.
    Kind Regards

  7. Hello, Abbysmom,

    You wrote:
    “Could you please clarify what you mean by “these things”? If you mean that some women can’t fully understand how financial worries can affect a man, but a woman must try her best to see financial worries from her husband’s point of view, I concur.”

    My answer is, “Yes, that’s what I mean.”

    As far as your question about a wife paying the bills at her husband’s request, that’s a personal choice between each couple. However, it is a choice that can bring real strain and stress to a woman and marriage. For more on the subject, if you are interested, I recommend reading Fascinating Womanhood, the 2007 edition, by Mrs. Helen Andelin.

    There are other ways to be an outstanding financial helpmeet to one’s husband rather than paying bills. Click these three links, if you’d like, for more information about this:

    http://wonderfulwomanhood.com/2012/05/14/grand-investments-of-the-devoted-wife-mother-and-homemaker/

    http://wonderfulwomanhood.com/2014/02/12/near-daily-encouragement-for-wonderful-women-the-grand-investment-of-exercise/

    http://wonderfulwomanhood.com/the-new-womens-movement-were-coming-home/

    Regards,
    Mrs. Wayne (Nikki) Hunter

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