The Master’s Social Worker
Posted By Mrs. Wayne Hunter on May 2, 2010
“What’s wrong with women nowadays?” is a question that many other women may ask after seeing grown women who are angry, cruel, and seemingly unable to be very good wives and mothers. Maybe these women argue with their own children like children themselves; maybe these women are hollering at their husbands or boyfriends; maybe these women are griping about many things. What is “wrong” with many of these women is that they are terribly, terribly frustrated. It is not up to us who have found the keys to overcoming womanly frustration to judge these women, but to offer to help them. As always,
“The harvest truly is plenteous, but the laborers are few…” ~ Matthew 9:47The Master’s Social Worker
“Pray ye therefore the Lord of the harvest, that He will send forth laborers into His harvest.” ~ Matthew 9:38
Have you found the keys to preventing or overcoming the frustrations that many women face nowadays? Have you found the paths to peace, understanding, and wisdom as a wife, mother, and woman? Is your marriage blissful? Are your children respectful, (some) older, obedient, and real gems? Do you reach out your hands to the poor and needy, look well to the ways of your household, and above all respect and obey the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob? Do you have the love of Christ in your heart? Do you have great understanding and compassion towards other women? If you answered yes to all of these questions, you have what it takes to be a Master’s Social Worker. You have the skills, knowledge, and understanding to provide a great deal of healing to many women in our society.
If you answered yes to some of the questions or have very young children at the time, but have a heart to excel in all areas above, then you are earning your degree in The Master’s Social Work. Don’t worry, don’t rush it; it takes time, patience, much study, prayer, thought, and good works in one’s own home and life to become a full-fledged Master’s Social Worker. It actually takes the majority of women about twenty years of on-the-job training to carefully be able to reach out to younger women. This is because we have to give our own fruit trees (our families) time to mature so that we can rightfully tell our trees by their fruits. If we have excelled, if we have made it and are following the same path of success with our younger children, we’re ready to work teaching others.
If you are a woman who is among the frustrated, please have hope. If you seek and pray for the way to overcome this frustration, if you ask God for the information and help you need to overcome with a sincere heart, He will answer your prayers.
About Teaching Others
Let us keep in mind that such frustrated women as written about in the first paragraph, while they may be hurting others by their words and actions, are hurting themselves and hurting inside, too. Many of these women have no idea that this is happening or why, all they know is on some level, something is very wrong. We must seek understanding to help such women. We have to be open-minded and open-hearted. We have to have compassion. We also have to have wisdom. We can’t poo-poo them and we can’t be passive in many cases, yet we have to be gentle yet strong of heart and serious when teaching such women. On the other hand, there are a lot of things that women need to be told that they can just “let go of.” This is an art and skill learned by mothering, and it takes years of practice in mothering before being able to apply these skills to teaching others. God has blessed us with children as our teachers in many courses of His Master Social Workers’ degree program!
Developmental Neglect
One very important thing to understand about many women in America nowadays is that many of them have grown up in homes of developmental neglect. Their developmental needs while growing up were not met. The only one to really meet all of a child’s developmental needs is a child’s mother who is home full-time and who pays close attention to her child. Many women simply did not have this.
Developmental neglect in children is a severe handicap–one that most human beings never fully overcome. Sure, adults can live with the handicap and make it, some even doing very well in life, but there are most always pieces missing that can’t be put back. We’ll never know just how many pieces are missing in America, but we can all plainly see that many of our citizens are broken. Understanding developmental needs and how to not neglect them takes on-the-job training as a mother and much study and application in love. We must devote ourselves to our children’s nurture and care–and they need oodles of it–to fully understand and meet their developmental needs, and through learning this with our own children, can reach out to others in the years to come and help guide them in this. This is extremely important to all human beings, and it’s our job, as Christian older women, to teach it.
The Bible is the excellent text for gaining this understanding and love. A great place to start in the Bible on this study is by reading a Proverb every day of the month, every month, and every year. In months with less than thirty-one days, schedule to read two or more verses as many days as needed the last week of the month to get all of The Proverbs. I recommend The King James Version of the Bible for this; the language and depth of the Proverbs found therein is outstanding and brain-boosting.
Gender Disorder
Another very important thing to understand is that many of today’s women grew-up in homes and most certainly in our society where there was gender disorder. There were no clear divisions of duties and roles between fathers and mothers, husbands and wives, sons and daughters. Gender disorder causes utter chaos and disruption. It is impossible in a gender disordered home to have peace and happiness on more than a fleeting, come and go level. Most children who grow up in such homes spend their lives trying to live the gender that God created them, yet taking on and living with characteristics the belong to the other sex*. It is madness and frustration, and many ladies in our land don’t even know it or what’s wrong, all they know is that something is wrong, and they can’t even place what it is to try to fix it. *[As a bit of a side note here: Many grow weary of or see no point in trying to live as both a male and female while being created to be one or the other and turn to homosexuality, this is one major reason why homosexuality is exploding in our nation.]
As older women, as Master’s Social Workers, we are to teach these women about being women, wives, and mothers. We must teach them the differences between women and men and how the two can live together as man and wife in beautiful harmony.
Our Time is Now
We must teach younger women to build their homes on the rock solid foundation of God’s order for families. Any other way for Christian Americans is a way to destruction. What is wrong is wrong, and though very few are trying to make it right, let us not be guilty of such, but let us teach other women the ways to construct rather than destruct themselves and their families. As we help build each family in love and goodness, we are helping build our nation. We are helping build the world. We are The Master’s Social Workers.
About The Author
Mrs. Wayne Hunter
Hi! Thank you for visiting my profile. I am Mrs. Wayne (Nikki) Hunter. I am married to a retired U.S. soldier and small business owner, the momma of several (double digits!) beautiful children ranging in age from twenty to newborn, and a homemaker. I am also an authorized teacher of Fascinating Womanhood classes. Our family lives on a modern-day Interior Alaskan homestead.Comments
10 Responses to “The Master’s Social Worker”
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I think that a huge source of frustration is that women are asked to do regular work outside the home, a portion of the work in side the home, and then ALL of the “invisible” work for the family, like making appointments (in a timely manner), returning library books, going to the post office, most non-daily/non-weekly types of cleaning, like wiping out cabinets and dusting ceiling corners.
It IS an unfair standard, but the solution is not to wail about it, or to browbeat one’s husband, or to outsource it all. The solution is to move to a division of labor that respects the native talents of both husband and wife, and brings about a more peaceful household. Usually this means that he is the breadwinner and she is the homemaker, but there may be other Godly ways of doing this.
What a great article, I was just dealing with this the other day. Being surrounded by troubled women is frustrating not because I don’t like being around them, but because I don’t know how to help. It’s good to know that in time, I will become better at being a non-threatening, non-judgmental presence in their lives—with wisdom to give them about how to lead better lives, be closer to God, and fulfill their roles in their marriages. For now, I have always told my girlfriends, “I am no expert–I am trying just as hard as you, and feel just as lost!” Of course, I guess if I didn’t worry soo much about offending other women, I would have an easier time talking to them about my choices!!!
Unfortunately there isn’t enough modeling of this inner attitude. I grew up in a conservative Christian environment but harsh punishing of and yelling at children was common, and women openly complained about their husbands. I’m so glad that my mother set a different example for me.
Everyone has disappointments, has bad days, forgets things, makes mistakes–but how one responds to these events is a choice. Having a peaceful heart is more important that having a perfectly clean house or well organized life. If this is a problem within a family–say the husband has unrealistic expectations of what the house should look like at the end of the day or what should get done in a week, or perhaps the wife thinks that children should not mess up the house and should not get grass stains on their clothing–then they need to have a quiet talk amongst themselves to set some priorities.
May I simply express my gratitude for this sweet post?! What a great reminder. I love the idea of “The Master’s Social Work.” You’re so right about many women knowing that something is wrong – but not what, or why. That still, small voice tells us that something out there is not as it should be!
I can’t possibly write how thankful I am for the online fellowship of older ladies (and by that, I simply mean “older than 25″) who have a few years of marriage under their belts and who can teach us novices about homemaking and the like. I had absolutely no role models for Biblical womanhood whilst I was growing up – and it’s terribly difficult to find any women like that around where I live. Your posts on LAF have been so useful for me to learn about how to keep a home and how to walk in God’s ways!
I would be interested in your citation for this statement: “As a bit of a side note here: Many grow weary of or see no point in trying to live as both a male and female while being created to be one or the other and turn to homosexuality, this is one major reason why homosexuality is exploding in our nation.” I’m not questioning your reasoning or anything like that; I simply haven’t seen such reasoning before and was wondering where you found it.
Many blessings,
Luci
http://atranquilheart.blogspot.com
Thank you for your comments, ladies.
Luci,
In regards to the statement I wrote on homosexuality, I believe this to be true not from any one source or study, but because of many years of studying and few years of teaching about woman and children’s issues. A great majority of American boys are being effeminized and American girls are being masculinized in their homes, schools, and by society. When children have no clear sex roles, no clear sex identities, when they are encouraged to be both sexes instead of one, it seems that the line to cross into homosexuality would be unclear, too. It’s all a blurring of the lines, the blinding effect. Perhaps I should have used the word “bisexual” in the article, too, for many can easily see the correlation between physically and mentally acting as both sexes, how easily that can be brought into sexual acts with the mindset that it’s “normal” to behave as both or “either or”.
Most sincerely,
Nikki (a.k.a. Mrs. Wayne Hunter)
Thank you, Nikki! I hope my question didn’t come across as a criticism; it was sincere and I was curious.
I agree that the vast majority of American boys are victims of radical feminism and efforts to feminize them. One need look only at the curricula in early grades (K-3) in public schools to see that traditionally masculine virtues are de-emphasized or condemned outright. In such an environment, how could boys possibly flourish and grow up to become young men?
I was reminded of this article from the Atlantic (note: it contains some bad language & is NOT for younger readers, but the message and analysis are spot-on): http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2005/11/boys-will-be-boys/4317/
Blessings,
Luci
For years, I have been one of those “frustrated women” you are talking about. The whole “gender disorder” thing really hit home with me because I grew up being taught to “Toughen up!!”, “Don’t be so sensitive!!”, “Don’t be dependent on a man!!” Being the wife an mother that God has called me to be has been very difficult, but the Lord has been helping me by showing me the type of wife, mother, and woman that He wants me to be. This post was absolutely amazing.
You’re welcome, Luci. Your question didn’t come across as criticism. I appreciate sincere questions and comments, thank you for yours.
Thank you, Mrs. P1980.
Sincerely,
Nikki
I was raised in a dysfunctional home by terribly damaged parents. From my earliest memories I was bossy and demanding. I’ve grown up with a terrible disposition, for those who know about such things, it’s called: choleric-melancholy personality type. It has destroyed every friendship I’ve ever had. I’m unable to be compassionate to other women because I don’t empathize. I was raised to think and act like a logical, emotion-less person. I don’t socialize with women so this issue has been exacerbated by my husband being my primary friendship. So he has encouraged me to avoid being emotional, being vulnerable, being needy. He has no patience for what he perceives as “complaining” (if I ever try to talk about my feelings), and his advice is usually to deal with “reality” and change what I can and face up to the rest. And above all, don’t come to him about it! A former aquaintance exploded in anger at me via email recently because she’d told me about her difficulties and I failed to be supportive and commiserate, which I didn’t perceive was what she wanted. I apologized for my failure to respond the way she expected me to and she wrote back and told me that she hadn’t realized the differences in our personalities, she said that she realizes now that she lives and acts and talks and thinks like a woman, and that I think and act and talk like a man. Touche! Here’s some advice: don’t give advice unless it’s been asked specifically for … and don’t give advice as a personal opinion, ever. Refer all to prayer, the Bible and their faith.
ByGrace, I think that you may have more empathy towards other women than you think, as your writing and sharing information in your comment is very eye-opening to many women, I believe. It gives more clarity and further insight into “gender disorder” mentioned in the article as well as developmental neglect. By your sharing, you are giving women understanding and insight that they may have never received or learned on these matters, both of which will help them in understanding other women (and possibly themselves) and being more compassionate to them. Thank you for this teaching.
About giving advice… My Uncle, who is a licensed drug and alcohol, marriage and family counselor, said much the same thing regarding giving advice to others. He said that only very, very rarely should advice be given. He said the most important thing in the world to do for another human is to listen non-judgmentally, and offer unconditional love. That was very interesting to me, because that’s exactly what Christ did, offered, and instructed followers to do. Thank you for sharing the information on advice giving, and again, thank you for sharing your comment.
Most sincerely,
Nikki (a.k.a. Mrs. Wayne Hunter)