Put Away the Panic Button – Boundless – online community – Focus on the Family Community

Posted By on June 19, 2013

While I agree 22 is relatively young, Candice’s words made me wonder, Is there an age when you ought to start panicking? If you’re single and approaching 30, should you pull the emergency alarm?

via Put Away the Panic Button – Boundless – online community – Focus on the Family Community.

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4 Responses to “Put Away the Panic Button – Boundless – online community – Focus on the Family Community”

  1. Hobbit says:

    As a single man … what the Boundless article identifies, if unintentionally, is the very mixed messages we give single Christians. If we have worked very hard with the Christian teenagers to tell them that God will have someone for them, as long they trust God/don’t date/don’t … then, it is hardly surprising that once they get into their twenties, you get singles, and single Christian women, reaching for the panic button. They’ve ended up in a place they didn’t expect to – especially if they /have/ done all the right things …

    Yes, their (our) expectations are unrealistic, but where do we get those bad expectations from? If I had been told as a teenager that I might end up single, for whatever reasons (good or bad), then when it came along, I might have made a better fist of things than I did. We spend a lot of time preparing people for marriage, and rightly, but we also need to prepare people for extended or even permanent singleness as well. Obviously the precise lie of the land will differ for Christian women than for Christian men, bit the question can’t be avoided.

    As usual, comment and criticisms welcome.

  2. Independent says:

    I always wanted to get married, most women are wonderful and I have so much desire to be a good husband and father. However, I am also glad i have not married and I also have plenty of doubt about marriage today.

    I know many people wont understand or will just dismiss or shame what I have to say but I don’t care, as a 40 year old man the world has done enough blaming and shaming of men so here is my take.

    Marriage in the current legal culture is shark infested waters. Marriage in the current “maturity” level of men and women today is recipe for failure leading to..yes shark infested waters.

    Anyone can go into a marriage today with the best of intentions. But with all of the legal and cultural traps and pitfalls failed marriages happen more often. The OP is right, the expectations of men and women today is so great, I’ll add that selfishness and entitlement is ingrained in a modern, techno gadget me me generations or two. I’m no prize and guilty as anyone but I still have to make decisions for my future.

    I feel that I am wise to be very very careful in todays shark infested waters because i don’t want to be the next one to make a mistake that will not adhere to a partners expectations and lead me to divorce, emotional and financial bankruptcy.

    It’s smart and realistic to stay single these days.. to pretend marriage is alive and well and just like the good ole days is just…well pure fantasy.

    until attitudes and laws change you wont see men and women marry more often or sooner in the future.

  3. irisT says:

    i was marrued at 35, and always thought. Better no mariage then one because i donot want to be left out…and and up with atilla the hun or something;-)

    now to be truthfull…if you want a man, you have to do something. If you want a girl, the same thing. When i noticed a nice men i asked him to help move tables in church, brought him tea after service. smiled at him. and finally he had the courage to ask me out. (at a bike ride ;-))

    I asked him to come to dinner next evening (my brother was at the dinner too) and in 6 months we saw eachother a lot (always with some one present) and then he asked me to marrie.

    Fully well knowing he was not perfect, i sad yes. ..

    What i mean by this is: if you like someone let it show, and donot seek perfection, seek “able to love and live with”

  4. Hobbit says:

    Iris – agree completely.

    One of the side-effects of modern feminism in the church is that Christian men aren’t generally put off by a woman showing interest, as long as they can get into leadership in the relationship before too long. The Biblical examples of Deborah, Abigail, Lydia and (in a way) Damaris, all show us cases of women in Scripture showing appropriate initiative.

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