Living a S.I.L.K. Lifestyle in a D.I.N.K. Society

Posted By on June 10, 2010

I had no idea until Monday afternoon that my newlywed children were living the lifestyle desired by many. It’s the D.I.N.K. lifestyle. I had no idea that this lifestyle had a name until a dear friend mentioned it. I’ve known numerous couples over the years that lived this lifestyle, but I’ve never been one to experience it. D.I.N.K. is an acronym for “Dual Income, No Kids.”

If I can be honest here, I’m not sure if I can talk about a subject that I’m not familiar with. There was a time when we were a dual income family with kids. Lots of kids, according to what was told to us. We may not have been a D.I.N.K. couple, but I know first-hand the trap of a dual-income family.During the early years of my marriage, I was busy at home bringing children into this world, being a happy homemaker and wife. I thought we were doing great. Financially, it was tough. I didn’t realize it at the time until someone else told me that I was denying my children a “good life” because we couldn’t afford to go on vacation or buy the latest clothes or gadgets. I was torn when someone felt that I needed to face reality and go out and help my husband with the bills.

So I started working for the school district and eventually got a job at the same school my children were attending. From the outside, it looked as though I had the “perfect” job. When I left in the morning, my children were in tow with me. It was nice to see my children during the day, but home was always on my mind.

As the years went by, I met another mom who worked at the same school as myself. Her children attended there as well. During recess time, she and I would have playground duty. One day we started talking about missing being at home. From that day on we would stand on the playground and daydream about being home. The job of watching other people’s children was the last thing on our minds. I know it’s sad, but true. My heart was toward home, not playground duty.

That school year Don and I talked about me quitting and coming home with the kids. We had already started homeschooling one of our children because he was struggling with Math and English. Don was home during the day while I was working. He worked nights. He would teach a few subjects, and I would teach the rest when I got home.

I remember one night while trying to cook dinner, help my son finish his English, and help the other kids with their homework, I snapped. It wasn’t the sound of the sweet snap, crackle, and pop that my children heard coming from their cereal bowls earlier that morning. It was a hurling cry from the depths within me. I cried out and said, “I can’t do this anymore!” Call me a wimp, but I wasn’t equipped to do it all. I’m not every woman. It’s not all in me.

When Don got home that night, he made a final decision that I would finish out the school year and come home again. I was so relieved to know that I wouldn’t be coming home solo, but my children would be in tow.

The following weekend, we sat at the kitchen table trying to work some kind of magic with numbers. I looked at Don and told him these numbers don’t lie; there’s no way we can pull this off. He reminded me of the time when the children were younger and all the provisions that God made for us. Thus, we decided to listen to the Nike commercial and just do it!

Although I’ve never lived the D.I.N.K. lifestyle, I’m living a S.I.L.K. lifestyle. I love it and it feels good. We have chosen a S.I.L.K. lifestyle and our children benefit greatly from it. The rewards are not instant. Now that some of our children are young adults, the rewards are plenty when the words “thank you” flow from their lips. I wouldn’t trade this S.I.L.K. lifestyle for anything. That’s a lifestyle of Single Income Lots of Kids.

I can testify that we have never gone hungry. We have always had a roof over our head. We stood back then and are still standing on God’s word today.

“I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread.” ~Psalms 37:25

In closing, I must add that my daughter and her husband are not shy about telling others that one day they plan on living the S.I.L.K. lifestyle.

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About The Author

I'm happily married to a wonderful man of integrity name Don. We have 5 beautiful children. I was born and raised in Nevada. We call the state of Washington our home now. I love being a full-time Domestic Engineer. My heart and my life is centered around my home. My family says I'm the best cook West of the Mississippi. I love Little House On the Prairie and I've seen every episode. You can also visit me on my blog, Love Abounds at Home.

Comments

7 Responses to “Living a S.I.L.K. Lifestyle in a D.I.N.K. Society”

  1. This was so encouraging, Sandra! Since shortly after our first anniversary, my husband and I have been a S.I.L.K family–I guess, before that we were a S.I.N.K. family :-) And, we live in a very wealthy, disproportionately D.I.N.K. area of the country. This made me smile and built me up. Thanks.

  2. ladyj says:

    Thank you for this encouragement. I’m on the waiting list for an RN program and have been wondering what to do when my name comes up. I want to be home, but honestly, I get so tired of not having financial stability. Your testimony is helpful. Jennifer

  3. Dayna says:

    Sandra, I found this very encouraging. I had to laugh when you used what I’ve called “my line”: “I’m not every woman. It’s not all in me.” I have said that so many times.

    When our two oldest daughters were very small, I thought it my duty to go to work while my husband returned to college. When our second daughter was ten months old, the only time I spent with the two girls was bathing them at night and getting them ready to go to the babysitter in the morning. The ten-month-old would literally kick and scream when I’d pick her up from the babysitter’s house, because I wasn’t the one fostering a close bond with her. My wise husband advised me to quit my job and promised to do all in his ability to make ends meet, depending on the Lord for guidance. Soon thereafter, I learned that I was pregnant with our third baby — a son.

    Our finances didn’t work out on paper, but God provided in amazing ways. It was a trying time, but so necessary for us to get our priorities straight. We made many unwise choices and lived the consequences; but God mercifully carried our family as we continued having children, to the chagrin of our extended family.

    Now that things are different (although we’ve recently had another major set-back), and the children are older, I am so grateful that we didn’t let momentary financial discomfort lead us to forfeit the joy that has come from having a larger-than-average family.

    What a fantastic message for you to put out there for other young wives/mothers. Thank you for the encouragement.

  4. Sandra,
    I am a teacher and my husband sells paint. Now, I don’t mind him selling paint, but with a master’s degree, I bring home the bulk of the “bacon”.
    After much prayer and turmoil, DH and I have decided that this year will be my last (upcoming) year teaching. Can we truly make it on such a meager (we’re talking 20,000 or less) income? I don’t want to be a fool, but I feel that my life is out of order (messy house, young children with attitudes from day care and school) and that this is important. I just finished grad school, but with furloughs, I have lost the 5000 raise I have had for less than a year. We have a lot of debt (including master’s), but we seem as poor (if not more so) now as we did when I did stayed home at the beginning. I have only taught for 3 years with the public school I am in, and I because of God’s grace, have a very good reputation as a godly and compassionate educator. However, my children see that very rarely, because I am always trying to decide who will get “cut” from my life for a time period to get everything done.
    Add to this a mother-in-law who has taught for 32 years (along with doing all the stuff I want to: sewing, baking…) and a mother who gave up her college education so I could go, and you see that support from family would be seriously limited.
    I guess in my heart of hearts, I feel like David right now. ALthough he was scared at times, he always fell back on God’s word at the end of his psalms.
    Sorry if I am rambling; I was so sure this was right, but now I am scared. Why am I so scared? I was so gung ho about c oming home and homeschooling, and now it seems all I see is negative and hear negative, and maybe I am wrong.
    Thanks Sandra.

  5. Renee Stam says:

    S.I.L.K. love it!!!! We are a S.I.L.K family too :-)

    What a great post! I’ve been talking to several working mothers and most of them describe the exact feeling that you share about the playground, watching other kids when your heart was longing for home!

    God is a great provider for those who trust in Him

    Blessing

  6. fedup says:

    D.I.N.K and proud of it! I do have to comment that it might not have been watching children play who were not your own, but the change itself, that got to you. Obviously, it is far more comfortable being in your own home, and maybe that is what you were feeling, anxiety over the change. But if staying home works for you, that’s great. I don’t think a lot of women have that same option, even if it is more comfortable.

  7. KeriLynn says:

    Awesome Awesome article!! Thank you so much for this. I almost cried lol!! We are a single income, three kids and one in heaven. In my heart I am a mother of four and will always be. I’ve tried to go to work so many times and it’s never worked out. If I had to pick a career it would be Dental Hygienist, I even applied for aid and was approved. Then we had to go down to one vehicle. I’ve always said, ” If we both worked we wouldn’t want for nothing”. This has caused me much guilt because the kids can’t do this or that. I woke up one morning last week and it just hit me, “Dustin, my husband, you know if the Lord wanted me to work, I’d be working, if he wanted me to have certain clothes, I’d have them.”. This all comes about because we got behind on our electric bill and had to ask for assistance, the lady we spoke to went above and beyond what we ever expected. She helped us with rent and two light bills. I couldn’t believe what was happening when she called us with the news. We recently had car trouble which took the utility money that we have allotted. This time instead of getting angry and saying, ” I’m going to have to work we just can’t do this anymore.” I just kept my cool and encouraged my husband saying we would be ok, even though I was scared. Now I’m not advocating trying to get things for “free” but everybody gets in financial trouble sometimes even with two incomes. I’m just giving my testimony on what happened to our family this month. Again thank you so much this post was so encouraging for me and just what I needed to read today.

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