My Stay-at-Home Journey

Posted By on April 6, 2010

I guess I can go back to when I was a little girl. I was very blessed to be raised with a stay-at-home mom, and, as far as I can remember, I wanted to stay home just like my mommy! When I was old enough to go to school, my parents put me in Christian school. It’s amazing to me that even in the Christian atmosphere, they pressed the girls to think of college and careers. When I talked about being a stay-at-home mom and wife, they urged me to think of something else. So, after I graduated high school, I did what I was urged to do: I went to college. Well, that lasted three semesters. Going from a protected Christian bubble to the world of community college was jarring for me, and I quit halfway through my third semester. I was getting anxiety attacks, and I was sick all the time due to stress.

In the house I was raised, if I attended school, I wouldn’t have to get a job and vice versa. Since I dropped out of school, I had to get a job, so I started working as an office assistant. Even though I worked for a wonderful Christian couple, I wasn’t able to be at home like I truly wanted. Fast forward a couple of years to when I met and married my husband. While we were courting, we talked about the possibility of me being able to stay at home and start a family soon after we were married. As we did the budgeting, it just didn’t work out, and even after marriage, I still worked. Fast forward again a couple more years, and we began to get accustomed to a two-income home and the decision for me to stay home and have babies was pushed aside. Admittedly, we liked having money. We enjoyed eating out most nights, and I had a little habit that involved shoes and handbags. Thankfully, we didn’t get into debt, but we both began to not want to give up the money. After talking with my husband, we decided not to have any children at all. I was completely happy living the way I wanted, even to the detriment of my home and my marriage. I had pretty much convinced my husband that I had to work to make ends meet, when all I really wanted to do was go shopping and eat at nice restaurants.

Again, fast forward a couple more years. At this time, I began to really hate my job. It was getting more stressful, and I was pretty much done with wanting to work outside the home! While on a lunch break, I discovered the site Ladies Against Feminism. As I read over the site, I began to get mad! “How dare they say that I’m selfish! I work hard at what I do!” I said to myself. Suddenly, the Lord started to work on my heart, and I began to identify with a lot of these ladies and the passion to stay at home started all over again. I started to talk to my husband about it, but, again, looking at the budget, it just didn’t make sense for me to quit my job. At this point, he really was convinced that I needed to work. That’s when I began to pray. I prayed for a change of heart for my husband, and I prayed for God to open the doors of home to me. I prayed this prayer for another year, and in October of 2008, both my husband and I were laid off from our jobs. You know, I asked the Lord to remove me from work, but I didn’t mean my husband, too! Maybe next time I should be a little more specific. 😉

Soon after being laid off, my husband and I went to see my cousin and his wife, who also happen to be our mentors. While we were there, we begin to talk about my desire to be at home and how I believed this was the Lord’s way of getting me there. They agreed, and by going over scriptures, my husband soon realized that my calling as a woman was to stay at home. Now our goal was that he would look for work while I assumed my role as housewife. Needless to say, I was so excited!

Well, unfortunately that didn’t last long. Just a few days after that decision was made, I was offered a part-time job as an office manager. I didn’t really want to take it, but fear set in. We both thought it would be wise to take the job, since we didn’t think we would be able to live off unemployment only. The job offer seemed to be a perfect one, and, with my husband’s blessing, I took it. That was one giant mistake. What seemed to be perfect was a nightmare. I thought my boss would be wonderful, but he wasn’t, and what started out as part-time ended up as full-time. I was back in the same boat again, working a job I hated and wishing I were home. It just shows what happens when you live in direct disobedience to what God is telling you to do!

Six months after taking the job, we again went to visit my cousin and his wife. While we were visiting, they both asked us (firmly, but in love) what on earth we were doing? They thought the decision was for me to stay home. We both admitted that we were afraid and that the job seemed like a wise decision. Again, after much prayer and going through the Bible, the decision was that I would quit my job and go back home. The Monday after that weekend (April 13, 2009) I gave my two weeks’ notice. That was the best feeling ever! I was so happy to be finally coming home for good!

Sure, there are many people who thought I was crazy, I mean, who quits her job when her husband is unemployed? But I didn’t care. I am doing what God wants me to do, and pleasing my Savior is way more important than pleasing man. Yes, my husband is still unemployed, but you know what? God provides. We live on much less than we ever did, and we are still fed, we still have our home, we still pay all our bills, we still tithe to our church, and we are still given exceedingly abundant all that we can ask or imagine. You know why? Because we are being obedient. I laugh when we budget now. Honestly, on paper we are in the red all the time, but when it comes down to it, we are never behind financially. God is good, and, as my favorite verse says:

Because of the LORD’S great love, we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. – Lamentations 3:22-23 (NIV, because that’s how I memorized it!)

About The Author

I am blessed to have been married for seven and a half years to Eric, my wonderful, Godly husband . One year ago I was a working woman who sought God's best for my life. By seeking the Lord's will in my life, He Lord led me home to help serve my husband and start a family. We have no children yet, but we are waiting on the Lord to fulfill that blessing in our lives. For now, I keep busy by staying active in my home and in my church and we have two goofy pets that keep us laughing!


2 Responses to “My Stay-at-Home Journey”

  1. kcar38 says:

    Dear Becky,

    What a WONDERFUL testimony! May the Lord continue to richly bless you and give you many babies to fill your home. 🙂

  2. KendraH says:

    What a timely reminder for me. Thank you.

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