Never allow yourself to be intimidated or shamed into giving up politeness and propriety. At first you may feel self-conscious, but just remember that your purpose is to show respect for God and courtesy to others. The word "etiquette" is from the French estiquer, which meant "to post" or "attach." French nobles began posting signs on their lawns and in their gardens to prevent people from trampling expensive plants and grass. From this we get "etiquette," which are rules of conduct and guidelines for behavior. Etiquette is designed to make others feel more comfortable and to show respect for the occasion and the people you are around.
Women Admiring a Child Mary Cassatt You Can Order This Art Print from AllPosters.com | A Word to Minster's Wives
You are being watched. Your appearance and manners will be noted by many. You can either be a light and a beacon to your congregation, or you can be a depressing sight that people hate to see coming. You can look like someone who is happy to be in the role God has placed her in, or you can look like something else. Ladies, why sit around and feel unhappy with the current social situation; the way most everyone is slothfully dressed; the casualization and uglification of America. Real change begins in small pockets of society. Someone does something and someone else takes up the idea, then someone else. Your dress reflects your manners and your soul. My message to you is this: be a leader in your society. "Brighten the corner where you are," as the saying goes. You are doing a great service even if you dress beautifully at home for your children. They will always remember that you cared enough about them to do this, and they will follow suit. Even if your husband is not a paid minister who delivers sermons, the way you dress and behave is delivering a powerful sermon to others. You are expressing how you feel about the gift of life you have been given. Your appearance can minister cheerfulness to others or depression. The way you dress and act can either inspire and uplift others or make them sorry they saw you. |
The Trend Toward "Casual" (Inappropriate) Behavior
I will cite to you several instances in which I have been deeply ashamed of the conduct and dress of Christian women. One particular incident was my first experience in the "dressing down" of American Christians. Up until this time, we young women always knew the difference between formal, semi-formal and informal clothing. An elder's wife -- a very refined woman -- had opened her beautiful home to a bridal shower. She had gone to a great deal of trouble for this, as you can imagine, and the decorations were lavish. She had done the best that she was capable of. When the betrothed college girl and her intended bridesmaids showed up -- late -- we were all aghast (you probably wouldn't be today), as they trooped in, wearing shorts and basketball shoes, looking and smelling hot, earthy and sweaty.
Our hostess continued her routine most graciously as the girls all sat on the floor with the bride-to-be, even though specific chairs were set aside for them, all beautifully decorated. Our cameras lay idle on our laps as many of us could not bear to take the pictures we had anticipated taking. The hair was astray; the makeup and pretty clothes were non-existent. Some of us looked around to see if just perhaps the girls had brought their change of clothes in a paper bag and would soon slip out to change. Alas, the behaviour of the girls was as displaced as their clothing. Their casual and inappropriate actions reflected their casual dress. They guffawed, slapped one another on the back, roared with food in their mouths, sat cross-legged and even lay down completely on the floor and let their backs be massaged by the feet of the others. This was quite a shock. Until the next one, I began to observe the casualization of America. It took away our Christian distinction in the church. We were no longer identifiable as "set apart from the world." Instead, we had been conformed to this world.
Just recently I was saddened at a beautiful wedding, one which the parents of the couple had obviously planned carefully. It was done up formally and beautifully. An entire family of girls showed up dressed as though they had just come in from playing basketball out in the driveway. I was so disappointed, for the many snapshots that were taken will be a record of this disrespect for many years to come.
| How Will You Be Remembered?
I will tell you now: dress and behave so that Christ is not ashamed of you. Dress so that if a picture or film was made of you, you would not be embarrassed years and years later. The term "fad" is simply the initials for "for a day." Avoid fad dressing, and stick to what is classical, and you will always be appropriate and never embarrassed. When you leave your "parish" or place where you minister, what do you want your congretation to remember about you? That she looked just like the rest of the world and tried to fit in with the world's "standards," or that she stood apart from the crowd with her quiet beauty and modesty and tried to be an example? |
On the Heights Charles Courtne Curran You Can Order This Art Print from AllPosters.com |
I heard of an incident recently where a minister had resigned, and the church was giving his family a going-away party. The minister's wife showe up in short shorts and a tank top. Here was a special occasion: a cake had been ordered, a room decorated and plans carefully administered. In our current climate, our preachers' wives do not actually know they are behaving inappropriately. They must be taught. Each generation will come closer to a civilized society or closer to a savage society. There is a close connection between the deterioration of our appearance and the deterioration of our manners and speech. Notice today that just as we feel casual and free to dress exactly as we please -- without regard to the feelings of others -- we also soon feel free to violate others' space, tell them off, insult them or state strong opinions without regard to their feelings.
So minister's wives (and all Christian women), I leave this word with you: You have the power to influence a great body of people for the better. You can begin with your appearance. Cast off those old jeans and shorts, and start dressing like the woman God made you to be. Your first loyalty is to God, to whom you show gratitude and respect in the way you dress. You are saying, "Thank you that you made me and gave me this role in life." Your second obligation is to dress to show respect for those who have to look at you. Don't spoil their view.
Mother and Child Frederic Leighton You Can Order This Art Print from AllPosters.com | Gold Rings in Pig's Snouts
Jesus spoke of the inappropriateness of gold rings in swine's snouts. If our manners do not match our dress, then we are hypocrites. Perhaps you have seen a beautiful woman whose appearance was very pleasing. Your opinion of her changed completely once she opened her mouth. Her attitudes and words did not mirror the image she made with her appearance. In like manner, we see many "bears in lace," or women who are dressed in a feminine way but who walk, sit, talk and laugh like crude, unrefined men. Let us be consistent. Be sure to behave as your represent yourself. If you are a woman, then devour every bit of knowledge on your role and your behaviour from the Holy Scriptures, and meditate upon it until it becomes part of you. You cannot really separate clothing from etiquette. What is the purpose, ladies, of being a quiet, gentle, refined woman, respectful in every other way, if your clothing is immodest and/or crude and your appearance slovenly? It distracts from your message.
As I saw how closely the children watched "teacher," how much they wanted to be like me and in how many ways they were copying me, I tried to be more meticulous about grooming than I had ever been, wearing freshly starched and ironed clothes, always keeping my hair clean and shining. I hoped that some of this effort would rub off on my pupils -- and it did. Soon...they were asking me if they could take a bath or wash and iron clothes in the mission house. ~ from Christy by Catherine Marshall Ladies, you can have an effect on as many as 50 people around you. If you influence even one person, you have duplicated yourself and multiplied your results. |
