The Tardy Guest Marguerite Gerard You May Order This Art Print through AllPosters.com | One aspect of hospitality is the habit of being punctual. We are living in an age that has become so casual that people cannot be depended upon to keep their word, or even to give their word in the first place. When they are invited, they often say, "I don't know yet" and the I-don't-know-yet can drag on until very close to the time of the tea, dinner or other event. The hostess is put to a great deal of uncertainty when prospective guests do not give her a definite answer. Another result of the over-casual society in which we live is that guests who do accept invitations will, more often than not, simply not show up. It is very rude not to let the hostess know definitely if you are coming, and it is despicably rude to simply not show up. |
To give an example of this atrocious behavior, people have reported having guests call up at the last minute and say they decided to go to a movie instead. Sometimes guests will say they just don't feel like coming. Other times, after the table has been set and the food already prepared, they will call and say that they got hungry and ate something and now they are no longer hungry so they do not wish to come. This may laughable, but it is painful for the hostess. Other times, guests leave town on a whim without bothering to tell the hostess that they will not be coming to the tea or lunch. She is left standing there with a lot of food and no one to entertain.
| Guests who do show up are often intolerably late--sometimes by several hours! Punctuality is largely missing in our society. People who know they would be fired from their jobs for tardiness think nothing of being hopelessly late to a hospitable invitation in the home of a gracious person who has put her own wants aside while she prepares dinner or refreshments for them. Other times, guests who accepted the invitation decide they will go to a movie or go on a trip instead. Sure, they call the hostess and tell her, but it still inconveniences the hostess in some way. The rule is this: if you accept an invitation, do everything within your power to keep the appointment. People are understanding when there is a real reason for your not coming, but they think less of your character when you are simply negligent or lazy and rude. |
Apples and Tea Del Gish You May Order This Art Print through AllPosters.com |
Invited guests should give a yes or no answer to the hostess. If they accept the invitation, they should make every effort to be there, unless a very severe emergency appears or they develop a serious illness. There is no excuse for just not showing up because they didn't feel like it or other flimsy reasons. In earlier decades, if someone was known not to show up to an invitation, he or she was marked as a spoiler of fun and never invited again. If you are not receiving invitations, check out your habits. Are you prompt? Are you grateful? Are you well mannered at the home of the hostess? Do you do things that make others uncomfortable? Is your appearance respectable? If you are a hostess who gets jilted, you can do as rich man did in the parable about the invitation. He invited all his friends and, when none of them showed up, he went out into the highways and brought in strangers for the feast. We know there is a deeper meaning to this scripture, for it is about the gospel, but the lighter meaning will do for this subject. If no one shows up, and you are stuck with all that food, call up others who would be grateful to eat it. As a lover of hospitality, you must insist on an answer from those you invite. Tell them you need to know so that you will be sure to have enough food. You may also want to let the habitually tardy or no-show people know that you don't want to prepare a large quantity of food that will not be eaten. Some foods are best served immediately, and it will be a great waste if they are not eaten at that time.
Hostess Marguerite Pearson You May Order This Art Print through AllPosters.com | It is sad that these things must now be spelled out to people. Before, even when something was slightly hinted at, people understood. Now, we must explain to guests as though they had just come out of caves just how to behave regarding invitations. Our casual society has come from getting so many things just when we want them. Do you want a pizza? No need for reservations. Just go and pick it up at your own convenience. You can go when you are in the mood and even change your mind halfway over to the restaurant, and no one will get hurt. Shopping is available every waking hour, and no appointment is necessary. You can go when you feel like it, or not go, and no one is the is inconvenienced. Hospitality in someone's home is quite a different matter than what goes on in the commercial world. Courtesy is paramount. The hostess has given of herself unselfishly. She has put her heart into the event. This is not the same as the fast food restaurant. You cannot show up when the mood strikes you or change your mind on the way over to her house. Just as she is thinking of you while she prepares the food, so you must think of her as you prepare to be there, on time. Because of good time management, she has set a time to have the meal prepared. For you to decide to take a nap instead is the most hurtful thing imaginable that you could do to a hostess. To be shown hospitality is a great honor. It is better to give than to receive. Accepting invitations and showing up to the event will help the hostess do her Christian duty, and be a great source of fellowship and enjoyment for the one who is invited. |
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