The Ritual of Teatime

Greetings, Ladies!

Tea Parties have swept across our nation and are so popular I've known of women who would drive 60 miles to attend one of these refined functions. This return to civility is most welcome. I've never seen such a custom produce anything gross, crass, vulgar or untoward. It can only be described as "good." As a matter of fact, I believe that you could rescue an entire nation of boys and girls headed in the wrong direction, through the simple practice of having Tea. I use the capital letter because I do not mean simply pouring a cup of tea, but having an event, with varying degrees of formality.

I personally know several young men, some only nine years old, and some the ripe old age of 15, who shyly hint that they would enjoy a tea as much as any woman would. (And, indeed, teatime is as much a manly observance as it is a feminine one.) Two such young fellows visited my family one day. After some time spent in insignificant chit-chat, one of the boys asked me if I still made tea. "Of course," I replied, and let the matter go at that. "You sure have some nice tea cups," the younger one said. Then it dawned on me. I pointed to the cups on the shelf and suggested they each go and get the one they wanted to have their tea in and promptly began to heat the water. I noticed they each chose a cup with the most glittery gold they could find. I served the tea in a silver tea service, watching with amusement as the boys looked at their reflections in the teapot. I had heard the rumour that tea loosens the tongue, and I think in part it is true, for after the second cup of tea, these two lads began to converse enthusiastically with us about many of life's important issues. We used the opportunity to guide their thinking into right paths.

This brings me to an all-important observation. Children long for and need ceremony and solemnity in their lives. Teatime provides just that, with its tablecloths, candles, tea pot, tea cups, tea spoons, and so forth. Everyone "huddles" together at the table to partake of the hot brew. I believe that the more often young men partake of the Tea ceremony, the less inclined they will be to participate in the drug activity which has become a scourge in our nation. In fact, I have a dream of providing a Tea for students at a local school, in order to increase their refinement and appreciation for life.

Mrs. Catherine Chapple-Gill and Her Children James Jacques Tissot You Can Order This Art Print from AllPosters.com

Now, here are some friendly manners tips for boys. As my dear friend, Amy, says, "You need to record some manners for boys, because sometimes they don't have a clue."

* Rise when a woman enters the room, and wait until she is seated before

you re-seat yourself.

* Refrain from sticking your long legs clear out in front of you

in the living room, for people will trip over them.

* Say "please, thank-you, yes ma'am, yes sir, excuse me" when the

situation requires.

* Don't wear shorts and tee shirts to Tea. Button-down shirts

and cotton twill pants with a crease and a

belt will do. Manners come to you more naturally when you are dressed

less casually. The showing of vast amounts of flesh (upper legs, chest)

is in extremely bad taste and will spoil the Tea for others.

* Have clean hands.

* Don't bolt suddenly from the table and just leave the room. Wait

patiently at the table until everyone is finished and the hostess

invites you to adjourn elsewhere. At a Tea, you are not

just there to eat, but to converse and

fellowship. Getting up and leaving just because you are "finished"

is deplorably rude.

* Don't chew gum. Its disgusting, and the hostess doesn't like

to be asked, "Where can I dispose of my gum?"

Family Teas

I have a special affinity for the family Tea gathering, because that is how my Lily met her Aiden. In my opinion it is ideal for first meetings, since it puts people at such ease. They must busy their hands helping themselves to all those delicious sandwiches, meats, cheeses and such. Somehow it removes the awkwardness of the situation.

Specific Tea Rules for Girls:

* Do accept invitations to Tea even if they are not "your thing." It will increase your maturity and your appreciation of the finer things of life. * Wear tea-length or long garments and do not wear pants, shorts or mini-skirts to tea parties. These are refined affairs imitating those of the 18th Century, where modest propriety was always observed. * Don't curl your lip and look suspiciously at the food or the tea ceremony. It shows your lack of knowledge and refinement. * Be enthusiastic about the Tea and say something like, "I am so glad you invited me. I just adore a tea party." * Try a little nibble of each thing, even if you don't think you'll like it. I call this a "no-thank-you helping." * Avoid outlandish clothing and hairstyles. Tea in most circles, though lively and fun, is a conservative affair. * Speak to the older as well as the younger, and not just to your own age group. There are no "age groups" in Heaven or at Tea parties

Carnation Lily, Lily, Rose John Singer Sargent You Can Order This Art Print from AllPosters.com

Aside from Tea, here are some general manners suitable for both male and female: * When invited to someone's house, never arrive more than 15 minutes early or 5 minutes late. In some social circles, extreme lateness is so hurtful and offensive to the kind hostess, who has laboured so hard for this occasion, that the slight may be remembered for ages, and you might never be invited back again. * Once inside the home, remain standing at the entry until invited further and asked to be seated. * Never wander freely in someone's home unless invited to do so. Never head straight to the fridge, open it, or help yourself unless given permission by the hostess. Never ask for permission to do any of these things. * Respect the privacy of others. Do not ask personal questions such as "How much money does your father make?", "Did you live with your mate before you married him?" (extremely poor taste), "How much do you weigh?" or Why can't I play with your antique toys?" * In stores, do not walk in front of people. Go around, if possible. Be polite in lines, and ask if someone was first before you take your place. * When answering the telephone, please, please, please do not slur your words. Enunciate each word carefully so that the listener does not have to keep asking, "Pardon me, could you repeat that? I'm sorry, I didn't quite understand," etc. It seems to be popular these days to use the "Valley Girl" slur, which is not at all charming. * In the worship assembly, do not kick the chairs or pew in front of you. Do not chew gum, and do not talk or whisper during the services. Do not get up and walk around. Use the restrooms before services.

The True Purpose of Manners Should Be Kept in Mind

One might ask what manners are for. They are in compliance with Our Lord's command to be courteous to one another, found in I Peter 3:8. They are developed over a period of time in all civilized countries. Although it appears that these instructions are for "the young," people of all ages can benefit from them.