Advice To Young Ladies – Pick the Right Man

Posted By on February 9, 2014

Through desire a man, having separated himself, seeketh and intermeddleth with all wisdom. Pro 18:1  

It is easy to admire a man with a confident air who seemingly stands apart from the sentiments and society of everyone else. He may seem head and shoulders above the rest. And when he can answer every conundrum and explain away the loopholes and shortcomings in the knowledge, wisdom ,and experience of those older than himself he may draw the attention of many who are impressed. His brilliant innovative mind can seem like a endless galaxy of wonders. His purposefulness and conviction about his ideas are attractive.

But too often a man’s position is to gratify his own vain-glory. His selfish ambition is well hid by charisma. It’s best to take note of how he is involved in everyone’s business but not his own. When his business is to elevate himself in the minds of others by judgement and criticism and without the actual work that wins a man respectability, this is not real advancement. A man who pursues a reputation at the expense of those who have earned theirs should raise concerns, not admiration.

A good woman will have no interest in flattering a man’s vanity and a good man will have no interest having his vanity flattered and little interest in those who seek to flatter him. He knows to well that vanity is the enemy of his virtue which comes by way of His duty to God. A good man will not give up his sense of duty for a woman who will so often misrepresent what a good man truly is with her flattery. A good man looks for a woman who understands his duty to be faithful before God and who desires companionship working out that which is good before God. A man after vanity will find a silly woman helpful to his shallow ambition, but in the end she does him no good and he knows it. She will find him more often than not to be given to a bad temper. His pride will become all the more insatiable and she’ll find herself unable to please him as she had in the past. Her flattery is not longer enough. When she can not meet his demands to be gratified he’ll look to others with a proud air, alienating himself and her along with him from so many others who would make the best of companions.

Instead, a man marked by the pursuit of wisdom will make better companion. He will embrace the hard won truths of men who have come before him and not consider himself their equals. His desire will be for knowledge and grace and not vain-glory. He understands what advantages there are to be had by way of humility. He is marked by a disinterest in the world’s vanities, even the noise of them, seeing them as a distraction causing delay in progress, development and true accomplishment. He shows initiative in seeking out wisdom and is diligent and takes great personal pain to try all to improve himself. He tests knowledge and finds out what is true and what is not. And once he’s found out where his confidence should lie through much effort he is marked by being immovable from that truth.

Pick the right man.

Recommended Resources

The Godly Man’s Picture (Puritan Paperbacks) by Thomas Watson (1992) Paperback
Beloved Bride: The Letters of Stonewall Jackson to His Wife
Humility
The Excellent Wife: A Biblical Perspective

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