“Tiger Mom” parenting

Posted By on February 1, 2011

From the folks at Mercatornet:

With the feverish discussion going on over at the Wall Street Journal about the parenting style of “Chinese mother” Amy Chua (nearly 7,000 comments, last time I checked), I’m not sure why I felt the need to toss in my two cents—perhaps I felt ‘called out’ to defend my own style of parenting. (Ms Chua’s editors apparently chose the title for her article: “Why Chinese mothers are superior”, and if they did it to spark controversy and discussion, it certainly succeeded.)

Naïve, Western me, I didn’t know there was such a phenomenon as “Chinese mothers” (or a parenting syndrome related thereto), though I am well aware of the statistics when it comes to the excellence of Asian children in academics, music, and so forth.

Read the entire piece here.

About The Author

Mrs. Chancey is the mother of 12 children, all of whom keep the household bubbling with life, learning, and levity. Jennie co-founded LAF in 2002 with Lydia Sherman and has been delighted to hear from women all over the world who enjoy their femininity and love to cultivate womanly virtues.


3 Responses to ““Tiger Mom” parenting”

  1. Camy says:

    When I first heard this report about the Western vs. Chinese mother, I thought about stories I had heard from my sister. She lived in Taiwan for 3 years as an English teacher and was immersed into the Chinese culture there. To her, the Chinese children were very stressed by cultural expectations of having good grades in order to go to college. This would begin at a very young age. The children would attend additional school after the school day was over, and then go to a cram school in the summer. She mentioned the children were very depressed and highly stressed.

    I wonder if the individual who was impressed with this “Chinese” mothering had children himself.

  2. Camy, I grew up next door to a Chinese family who had moved to the states while their children were little. The mother was appalled at the laxity she perceived in the US school system, and her children were kept on a very rigid schedule, shuttled from school to music lessons to science club with barely time to breathe in between. We were allowed to play with them for about an hour on Saturday mornings. My mother often tried to reach out with hospitality to our neighbors, but they had so much on the calendar there wasn’t much time to visit neighbors. But, on the other side of the coin, we knew another set of neighbors who didn’t supervise their children at all, didn’t care where they went or how late they were out. The children basically raised themselves and were wild and did very poorly in school. So I think there’s definitely a middle ground between these two extremes. Teaching children self-discipline is very important so kids can learn to govern themselves, make goals, and reach them. But filling the calendar to overflowing and insisting upon extremely high achievement is recipe for burnout–for both parents and children! It’s a challenge to achieve the right balance, but what a difference it makes for children to both have goals and have time to enjoy the outdoors, visit others, and just spend time reading and daydreaming, too. Thanks for the thoughtful comment!

  3. Jenn84 says:

    There’s also the story of a woman who’s father told her never to shame him again because she won 2nd place in some competition. Unbelievable. Reminds me a nasty would-be Titus 2 woman, who told a wife who got an abortion under pressure from her husband, “Maybe you really WANTED the abortion and he was just doing what you wanted”.. Sounds like this rabid mom’s piano psychology.

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